An appeal to programmers

Please minimize the use of database calls and dynamic content. If you have a page that’s going to be loaded often but only changed frequently, only update that page when it’s changed…not every time it’s loaded.

Dynamic pages are nifty because changes are instantaneous…but that’s really the only good thing about them. They will drive up users’ load times and your bandwidth costs, and they’re completely unnecessary. A nice static page that gets updated whenever there’s a change is all you need.

Your website, or software, or whatever, should not check the database for changes to every element every time a page or screen with calls to those elements is pulled up. That’s just ridiculous.

Would you like it if you had to rebuild an entire house every time you wanted to add, say, new windows?

You’d think this would be one of the things programmers learn. It’s just common sense.

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Email can travel through time

Ever have that experience where you see an old email you’d forgotten about, and it’s like it’s brand new? It’s odd, realizing that you can’t write back as though the person had just sent it.

Well, I can do you one better. For you see, my friends, I have not only received email from the past, but I have replied, and received replies in return!

Let me explain. Today on Twitter, tgpo linked to some amazing surveillance video. Curious to learn if the driver survived, I checked the comments, which linked to a page that at the time was filled with pictures from the accident. The pictures showed that the structure fell down alongside the truck, not crushing the entire cab, but there was no text, so I wasn’t sure why the commenter was so sure the driver survived. I did a little googling and found the original article, on the same site as the pictures, in Google cache.

Try as I might, I could not find a live link to the story, so I hit up the site’s contact information and asked if there was a permalink, or if I could reproduce the story here for you. It’s a great story, after all; definitely worth sharing.

I received a one-line response:

How did you hear about my site and the article?

Well, that was odd, I thought, but I answered:

A friend of mine linked me to surveillance video of the accident, and someone had linked to your pictures in the comments. From there I googled to find the original story.

Here’s the link my friend sent:

And soon enough, another one-line response arrived:

I am sorry but we do not share our stories for free.

It was then that I knew I was speaking to someone from 1996.

Wow. Who’d’ve thunk it? Email can travel through time.

I thought about letting it drop, but ultimately I decided to catch the guy up to the 21st century.

If that’s the case, you may want to know that someone has copied your work onto a forum…

This story is a real talker; if I were you I’d create a permanent page for it on your site and load that page up with advertising. If you just remove everything, you’re going to lose all that traffic and potential profit. It’s harder to stop the millions of people on the internet from copying your story than it is to give them something they can link to.

Just some friendly advice. I of course won’t be using your story.

Have a good one,


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Want to read something totally stupid?

I am completely flabbergasted by this so-called scientific evidence of Creation.

Bowling Green, KY, March 23, 2007 – In what has turned out to be the most controversial document since Charles Darwin penned the “Origin of the Species”, “Episteme Scientia-The Law of All that Is,” suggests science has been proving God’s existence, all along. The abstract states, “An examination of the sequential mathematical and experimental dual proof of the Genesis record of origins underlying the institution of all that is in the universe-from waves to matter to the mind.” According to the author, the Scientific Method has been subtly proving the Genesis cosmology in every classroom around the world for more than 450 years-in spite of the fervency to promote evolution and big bang theories.

Known online as “the kid,” the author, Samuel J. Hunt, a student at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, Kentucky, boasts of being able to prove all matter was spoken into existence just as Genesis records. The kid says it’s as easy as 1, 2, 3. First Order Logic states: if A=B, and B=C, then A=C. This means that if the premises are true and equal, then the conclusion must be true.

1) There is a mathematical and physical relationship between all (a) matter and (b) frequency,

2) There is a mathematical and physical relationship between all (b) frequency and (c) sound.

3) Therefore, there is a mathematical and physical relationship between all (a) matter and (c) sound.

By first order logic (the premises 1 and 2 are confirmed by all physics and chemistry to be true and equal) it can be shown that matter not only has a mathematical relationship to sound but a physical one as well. This proves that God did speak all things into existence; and the body of every living creature from bacteria to human, as all perform this process millions of times per day through their senses, is living proof.

Samuel says that his document is the mathematical and empirical proof that the bible can and is compatible to and verifiable by science on levels that are only just now beginning to be recognized. The proof also answers dozens of other scientific, theological, and philosophical questions. Hunt says, “I’m not here to argue for evidence of this or that. It’s important, but that’s like putting God on trial and allowing people to believe whatever they want. My document proves the Genesis record as the only infallible scientific explanation for our origins.” According to Hunt, his 84-page document holds the missing factor in the quest to find the Grand Unified Theory of Science.

Even now, the Darwinists are taking up arms. After reading only a short quip of Hunt’s wisdom they’re talking about “a good book-burning,” “paradigm shifts,” “eating crow” and the threat of losing more scientists “to the other side.” The paper’s genius lies in its simple, yet profound integration of several mathematical systems, scientific experiments, and observable phenomenon that happen all around us every day. Hunt’s book is available for purchase on-line at

About Samuel J. Hunt: A Third year student at Western Kentucky University majoring in Pre-Physical Therapy and Nutrition/ Dietetics. Funds created from the sale of the book will support further research and experimentation and the dream of opening a rehabilitation clinic after finishing his education.

Let me just pluck out the phenomenally ridiculous leg upon which his entire argument stands:

By first order logic…it can be shown that matter not only has a mathematical relationship to sound but a physical one as well. This proves that God did speak all things into existence

A proposed physical relationship between matter and sound proves that God spoke everything into existence? O…M…G.

I’m half-tempted to ask for a review copy of his book, just for laughs.

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