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Money.

I don’t have enough of it.

I probably need a job that pays more. Or more hours. Or something. I’m working an extra shift on Sunday, but that’s not quite good enough. My next paycheck will pay off my credit card and hopefully leave a little money left over, but a couple hundred dollars isn’t really that much money. I probably won’t be able to save it.

Sean doesn’t particularly like my penchant for buying gifts on holidays. It does involve parting with money, which is bad, but I love giving gifts and making people happy, which is good. He says he’s willing to deal with it. I have to learn to deal with the way he works with money, too. He’s intelligent enough to basically have a balance on his credit card all the time, but know that he will be able to pay it off later. To me, that’s really scary. I don’t like seeing a balance on my own credit card. It makes me uncomfortable to see that I owe someone money for something I already have or have done. Especially if it’s just a group of small things. I inherited this from my parents; they only buy stuff when they have the money right on hand for it. Sean’s way of dealing with money is not dangerous; he doesn’t charge more than he can afford to. But it still feels weird to me.

Finances are a big concern for me right now. I don’t know how we’re going to afford everything. I wanted to have a big fun party for our wedding and invite friends from all over, but I don’t know if we can afford that now that we’re going to Japan for our honeymoon. That’s going to cost a lot of money. I’m definitely not planning on putting everyone up at an estate like I was going to, but even then, the reception will get expensive if there are a lot of guests. I’m really not sure what I’m going to do about it. Hopefully over Thanksgiving, while I’m visiting Sean, I’ll be able to look around and find some options for us. I’ve pretty much exhausted the online resources, with little success.

Money…

I feel like Sean is going to have to bear the weight of everything for awhile. That really isn’t fair. But as I keep saying, I don’t know that I can get a job for just two months. I guess I could get a “holiday season” job after I get back from Thanksgiving…but that would be just one month! Still, I suppose they would hire me, and I guess it would be better than no extra income.

I just want to be productive and useful…

Well, I guess I will definitely look into some sort of holiday job in retail. I’m not bad at retail. I’m no Dotty Brooks (she is so enthusiastic!) but I do care about the customers, and I try to be as helpful as possible. So maybe that would give me enough money to finance my move and maybe a month of job-hunting…maybe.

And speaking of job-hunting, I need to revise my resume again so that it doesn’t give my potential employers eyestrain…Thomas told me that it should all fit on one page, and so I scrunched things down quite a bit. The layout looks nice, but some of the text is pretty small.

I wish I had some idea of what I’m qualified to do, besides teach English as a second language. I guess that’s what I’ll end up doing. It’s not that I mind that, but I would really like to do some language analysis. I’m good at it, damn it.

*sigh*

Well, I guess I’ll stop rambling about this. As Sean always says, “Things will work out.” I should stop stressing :> It messes up other parts of my life.

Time for Saved by the Bell! Wh00t!