December 4, 1994, 10:35 am – Beta Convention (16 years old)

I never found Alex. My suicidal thoughts and angry feelings about myself are gone. Thank you Midol.

I called AJ last night, collect from a pay phone. I actually wanted to talk to Mom, but she was at work. But talking to AJ was actually good. He is a sweetie.

He & Kristanne rented “Regarding Henry” and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” on Saturday, and watched them at her house. They had a good day, though I didn’t.

Oh well. It wasn’t the worst day I’ve ever had.

I still feel bad because I think I really hurt Alex’s feelings. I don’t know what I can do about it. I’ll try to get a hold of a Louisville phone book and find his address. Though I can’t pronounce his last name, I’d recognize it if I saw it. I know it started with an “M”.

Michael tried to tell me that it wasn’t my fault. He’s such a nice guy. He was too good for me. I lost him because I thought he wasn’t.