Having a bad day

I started out being brave and doing something I’ve never done before. It was fun, but really draining, and I ended up fleeing at the end instead of socializing. When I was done I went to look for some sort of job I can do part time. I went into Borders, bought two books, and didn’t ask about employment. Then I left and went to R. Gabriel’s for a smoothie. I figured I could drive around a little more and just look at places and see if I saw anything that I felt like I could deal with. But my car stalled in the drive-thru, and wouldn’t start again. I had to put it in neutral and let it coast up and out of the drive-thru, then park and go inside to ask for a phone book. The girl inside recommended me to a Lexus dealer, who (of course) told me on the phone that they didn’t work on Subarus. Mentally exhausted, I got back in my car and tried again. It miraculously started. I went home.

So I have to get my car looked at, and I’m not any closer to finding paying work. My self-confidence is at an all-time low; I’m even starting to feel like I won’t be able to handle my internship, that it isn’t “for me”, that I should just give up.

Obviously, I’m not letting myself make any decisions while I’m in this state. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. In the meantime, I’m trying to smother my feelings with food. It’s not really working so well, but maybe the ginormous hamburger I sent Sean to get for me will help.