Bits and pieces

English is growing in popularity in North Korea, with more North Koreans than ever before taking the TOEFL (they have to leave the country to do so, of course).

One North Korean defector in Seoul said English is also taught in the military, along with Japanese. Soldiers are required to learn about 100 sentences such as, “Raise your hands.” and “Don’t move or I will shoot.”

Some idiot robbed a bank and then called a radio station to brag about it.

The caller described the exact amount of cash taken, noted an employee was in on it and bragged that the group had since been “buyin’ Louis Vuitton this, Blass that, everything, man.”

Authorities quickly traced the call back to Washington’s cell phone and arrested him.

Meanwhile, an Ugandan lawmaker wants to give college scholarships to girls who make it through high school without losing their virginity. As the girls will be required to submit to a gynecological exam in order to prove they’ve been chaste, I recommend that none of them take up gymnastics or martial arts, either.

“We want to encourage people to be morally upright and not to go into early marriages. We also want girls to resist defilement. We do not want these girls to get exposed to AIDS,” Bbaale County Member of Parliament Sulayiman Madaada said Wednesday.

He said he was counting on donors to help pay for the project.