Scott Kurtz has thrown his two cents in concerning the ever–hilarious Jack Thompson vs. Penny Arcade fiasco. Kurtz has gotten a hold of Thompson’s latest effort to involve third parties in the fight he’s obviously too incompetent to win on his own. I’ve retyped the letter below:
John B. Thompson, Attorney at Law
[address blacked out]
October 18, 2005
Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman,
The Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter
Justice League of America Watchtower
Dear Justice League of America:
My name is Jack Thompson and I too am a crime-fighter. I am currently on a crusade against video-game companies who are using mind-control devices to turn the youth of our country into their own personal army of murder-teens. I’ve been doing my part, dishing out my own brand of two-fisted justice in the battle against these nefarious villains.
Now, there is a new evil and it’s coming from a Seattle company known as Penny Arcade. I can provide details directly to your justice computer, but basically this company has been using, I believe I can show, their Internet site and various other means to assist the Legion of Doom to poison the city’s water supply.
I’ve been in contact with Penny Arcade and informed them of the following:
1) That their days of crime would soon come to an end.
2) That they could do whatever they wanted to me, but leave the girl alone.
3) That they would never get away with this.
I need the help of the Justice League to stop the evil forces of Penny Arcade. I will warn you that it’s possible that they are in the possession of Kryptonite. I can’t confirm that, but these vile fiends are not above such diabolical means.
Please contact me via the usual means. Either a large searchlight with a logo on it, floating outside my upper-story window, or popping out of the darkness surprisingly when I turn around.
Regards, Jack Thompson.
Calling in the big guns, isn’t he? Who do you think would win in a fight: Superman, or Gabe? Batman, or Tycho?