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A new outlook

In 2005, I spent a great deal of time cataloguing my health issues and general feeling of wellness (or lack thereof). I was hoping to be able to chart patterns, or later have a record of my conception. (Even when I give up hope, I don’t give up hope!)

I don’t think it’s bad to have a good record of how I feel, but I do think that making note of things like that ended up causing me to be overly sensitive to discomfort. That, in turn, has affected my working life.

Yesterday I realized that if I keep getting so concerned about every little thing, I won’t be able to work properly. I’ll keep thinking that there must be something wrong, that I need to rest, that my “symptoms” mean something. It’s distracting. It causes me to lose my focus.

Last week, I felt a little ill, and went home early one day.

Yesterday, I felt run down, but I changed my attitude. Instead of concentrating on how I felt so I could analyze it, I thought, “I feel fine.” And I was amazingly productive yesterday.

So, even though I just had a sudden twinge of pain in my abdomen (on a scale from 1 to 10, I’d rate it maybe a 2), I’m not going to obsess about it. I’m going to just get on with things.

After all, that’s what normal people do, and I want to live a normal life too.

(By the way, after my freakish 99.whatever temperature spike and freakish 96.whatever temperature drop, I’m back in the 97s, which is my average temperature. I have no idea if this means I’m ovulating or not, but I haven’t had a period yet.)