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SitePal’s dynamic talking characters will eat your children

Have you seen these things?

AAAAAH!

Scary!

I honestly don’t know who would want a talking character on their website. According to this particular one (who has a British accent), talking characters are proven to boost sales on e-commerce sites. (After she said that, I made her say “I highly doubt that.” Then she said something incomprehensible, so I had her say “What the fuck did I just say?”…but she said it with different intonation than I intended. She sounded like an angry, obscene schoolmarm.)

In any case…talking websites suck. So please, don’t make your website talk to me. I will close the window instantly and curse you to a doom worse than having Shinou orchestrate your life down to the very last detail. (Which really sucks; just ask Conrad!)