It’s after 4am, and I haven’t been to bed yet.
I’m pretty sure I’m exhausted, but it’s hard to tell.
I had a frustrating conversation that lasted until about 1:30am. It didn’t really have a conclusion; I just said I needed to go to bed. But I didn’t do that; instead, I got on the computer and listened to the new episode of Welcome to Night Vale. The episode was pretty lighthearted, up until the end, so I thought I’d be able to go to sleep after that, but then the ending hit. And then I made the mistake of reading other people’s reactions to the episode.
My brain feels numb, or overexerted. Like it wants to do something, but is in no shape to do anything.
I am constantly struggling to prove or believe that my feelings are valid. That my choices are valid. That my life is valid.
It’s after 4am, and Dad just got up and offered to make me breakfast. Fried eggs and hash browns. Dad’s breakfast is another of my favorite things about visiting home. I accepted his offer immediately.
I wonder if I’ll sleep tonight? Or today, I suppose I should say?