I was going to go to Kentucky this coming weekend to put my dog out of her misery, but it seems that she isn’t actually miserable. She is still able to eat and go to the restroom. She hasn’t lost any weight. She still goes up and down the stairs, on her three remaining legs. She still gets excited when Ben arrives at the house (he’s the one who always gives dog treats). She still licks the plates when the family’s through eating. Every now and then, she’ll show signs of discomfort due to the bulbous tumor sticking out of the side of her face, but these moments do not dominate her life.
She is still happy.
And so I have asked Mom to let me know if things get worse for her, if she gets weak or unhappy or begins suffering continual pain. If and when one of those things happens, it will be time to let her go. But I can’t justify putting her down over some slight discomfort that doesn’t even really interfere with her lifestyle.
I feel like I’ve been put through a wringer.