I’ve got the blinds and curtains open and the lights off in the bedroom so I can see across the street where, despite numerous warnings from weathermen and the fire marshal, some idiot is burning something.

He’s got the stuff in an oil can, but the fire keeps sparking and shooting out the top.

Today there was a fire in Aiken County that flared up out of nowhere to cover an acre in minutes. Officials say it could have been a cigarette or even someone’s car exhaust that started it, because conditions lately have been very fire-friendly: dry with hard gusts of wind. Needless to say, people have been told they should hold off burning until the weather conditions change.

I’m waiting for the fire in the oil can to jump out and spread to something else–the car in front of it, or maybe the house behind it. Then I’ll call 911 and hope I don’t lose all my possessions yet again.