I’ve changed

I’ve changed.

In five short years, I’ve changed.

Five years ago, I’d write about anything, with hardly any reservation. I wrote often. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I voiced every opinion I had. I put it all down here on my blog with no fear and no sense of responsibility.

I’m in my 30s now. And I’ve changed.

I don’t know if I’m more mature, or if I’ve lost something.

Now, there are so many things I want to say that I don’t. Writing has always been my one true outlet…but I’ve become more aware of the power of words. With words, I can injure. And with words, I can inadvertently give away my own being.

Sometimes I want to write and don’t because I don’t have time.

Sometimes, I’m afraid to write.

But I miss it. I miss scattering my thoughts with abandon. And I know at least some of you miss following behind to pick them up again.

Whenever I resolve to write more, I mean it. It doesn’t happen because I’ve changed.

I’m not sure how to change back. I’m not sure I even should.

5 replies on “I’ve changed”

Maybe it's time for a "private" section of your blog for close friends and family? I'm not much into the tweeting crap, and Faye and I both miss reading your posts.

I guess the only problem there would be if you'd like to write stuff that you'd only like certain people to read, and you have others that are subscribed to your private page. But either way, if it's possible it would encourage you to post more, I'd be for it. Even if I have to sign in every time.

Or hell, you could just make a private page just for me. Hell with the rest of these guys.

As my blog has become more known among friends and family, I have run into this situation as well. How much to say, how much not to say, will people's feelings be hurt? Will I reveal too much about myself? It's given me a severe case of writer's block and now I feel sort of stuck. If my blog had a theme it would be different, but like you I write more in a journally style than a thematic style. It might be time to re-think that one….

AJ: I'll keep thinking about it. There's got to be something I can do. At least with a private blog I wouldn't get spam comments…

Heather: I've wondered for years if my blog should have a theme, or if I should make a different blog to write about a specific topic. I never came up with what I would write about, though! The idea seems so limiting :>

I've come across the same problem Heather has –too many friends and family know where my blog is, and that influences what I feel I can/can't write about– and it has influenced my blog writing –for the worse, as I've not written there in MONTHS– as well.

I, too, am considering options: themes, new/private blog, whatnot. I hope everyone here can come up with effective solutions for them. I can definitely feel the effects of no longer having that outlet.

There's also one's digital history to consider. Anything I post here could be found by a future potential employer, and I would have to be extremely careful if I wanted to talk about the industry I work in. Kind of sad since I actually have a lot to say about it…

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