A transformation

I mentioned before that Sean abruptly announced he wants to have a daughter, as if that had always been the case. Historically, his fierce desire not to have to deal with parenting had always overshadowed any romanticized notions he might have had about raising and pampering a little girl.

Now, he seems enamored with the idea of children. He still only wants one, but he talks about it a lot. A few weekends ago we visited Charles and Heidi in Atlanta, and one of the things we did was get frozen custard at Sheridan’s. A little girl and her mother were there at the same time. Last night, Sean described to me in detail the way the little girl was managing to spoon and eat her own custard. At one point she dug the spoon so far in that she couldn’t get a bite out. She strained at the spoon, willing it to bring the frozen treat to her mouth, digging so hard that finally, all of a sudden, the spoon slid rapidly free of the custard.

“It didn’t fly everywhere, but it could have,” Sean said, miming the little girl’s action and the surprised look on her face. “And the whole time, her mother was just sitting there texting. She missed a neat little scene that will never happen again. I guess that’s what happens; you start to tune them out. It’s sad, really.”

I don’t know if Sean and I will be able to have a child, or what will come of any possible adoption efforts. I spent many years trying to talk myself out of wanting kids. Now that Sean is where I was, I’m engaging in these discussions of parenting and not worrying about whether or not it will actually happen. My years of struggle have simply tempered the fun we’re having, making our conversations into hypotheticals rather than plans. For now, I’m not thinking any further. I’m not getting my hopes up. I’m just enjoying a refreshing change in my husband.


  1. I’m surprise and delighted. I wish it could happen for u both. Not to mention a granddaughter would be nice for me to spoil.

  2. Wow, I hadn’t checked your website in a while and BOOM! Post city! I think I need to update my feed settings since you switched over.

    Congratulations on potential parenthood. Whatever you ultimately decide, and whether you have your own child or pursue adoption, I’m confident you’ll be a very good Mom.

  3. Hmm, food for thought. My girlfriend is keeps asking me about having children and I really don’t want any. Sounds like for a lot of girls it might be a dealbreaker. It sounds like you’ve been pretty sensitive and mature about the whole thing. I hope my GF can be the same.

  4. Thanks :) And good to see you again, CT! It’s been what, years? I have been pretty bad about my blog reading so I hadn’t checked on you in awhile. Still cynical? Still traveling? Looks like I need to resubscribe to your RSS feed!

  5. Yah, it has been a while. Certainly still cnical and still travelling as much as possible. Got tickets to Russia and then Thailand but the latter might get put off.

    I’m a bit the same with my blog reading. Being back in Australia I didn;t have much to write about and plenty to keep me busy, which pretty much stopped me reading as well. Back overseas working now so the muse is once more upon me and I’ve got more time to catch up with my online friends ;)

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