I can’t…

I can’t divorce myself from the need to succeed. I can’t sit down and write a book just for me.

1 comment

  1. Original comments from Xanga

    You shouldn’t divorce yourself from the need to suceed. You should harness it.

    Believe that other’s believe in you. Believe in yourself.

    You can do it.

    Trust me.
    Posted 9/20/2003 10:24 PM by AGM_65

    Yeah, I agree, Heather-chan. I believe that you can do it, so do Sam, and I’m sure other people do too. Your writing has touched so many people, and that’s just on the AMRN. Don’t give up, ne? I’m sure you’ll be able to do a lot more if you put your mind to it. ^_^
    Posted 9/21/2003 11:25 AM by Bleudonne

    The problem is that you have no reason to write, except that you want to. It isn’t going to feed you. You aren’t stacking up months of bills just waiting for you to finish the last three chapters and get another check from your publisher. Being in America is a great thing – we get to think and discuss so many things no one else ever has been able to before – we have the veritable world at our fingertips. And with so many options (Hell, including shit talking the people that have fought to get us our rights), it isn’t unlike people to settle into a state of bewilderment. So many options. So many things. What the fuck do we do?

    So. Why not write a novel? How many out of the big four of us including the author of this journal have tried to write a book? There’s polls out there saying almost everyone in America would like to write that book. But very, very few of us ever find the time and the drive to do it.

    Even when you schedule one night of your life to it, and you accidentally open up a news website or a board you frequent or instant messenger, it’s just too easy to start talking about what you’d like to do with your book. What’s going on in other people’s lives. You end up not doing shit, because it’s so much easier than actually applying yourself.

    Then there’s the option I was bold enough to try. Disconnect. Delete all your games. Yes, even solitaire. Nothing but Windows and WordPad, and a dark corner all to yourself, removed from music, television, the phone, the Internet. This day and age, for computer users, this is as dramatic as a religious man’s fasting. It does work, my children. You do write. But it doesn’t last forever. Which nights do you go without your bread and water? What happens if you don’t “feel it” when you sit down? Why write pages of shit when you’re not in the zone if you’re just going to have to correct it later?

    I know where Heather’s coming from, because I too face the same problem. I may not be going for the same kind of finished product she is, but every artist – every musician – and every writer has something he wants his work to impart to whomever partakes of it.

    Everyone’s got that one story about a family member that dropped cigarettes or alcohol like a hat, and never went back. Why isn’t that ONE story about the guy in the family that COULDN’T drop it? Why is it heroic now to find the willpower to do something you need? Because we’ve digressed into a society that has everything at their beck and call, and we’ve all become too damn lazy to find our path.

    Getting back on track with writing is like kicking a bad habit. We all have it inside of us, and the only thing that prevents us from it is ourselves. That is obvious, and I’m renowned for stating the obvious. But the fact is, we all know the answer – what we have to decide is whether we want it bad enough to go for it.

    I’m not all doom and gloom. Well, actually, I kind of am, but as chance would have it, I came across something that might help my dear sister out with her woes – if she’s willing to work past her “anal-ity” and just go with the flow. One of the biggest problems with writing, is indeed, the pure isolation of it. People will get tired of rereading draft after draft. People don’t want to sit there and listen to your ideas night after night. Humans are selfish creatures, and when it comes down to it, we all want to talk about our own shit and glory.

    What you need, Heather, is a group that is going through just what you’re going through. People that you know feel exactly as you do as you’re feeling it. People that are just like you, with the same wants and the same dreams, but the same inability to get it down on paper. Sacrifice perfection, and you may have acceptance. Take that acceptance, and you may work past your block – beyond your inability to focus when you write. And you may have fun along the way.

    Easier said than done? Not quite. Here’s what I came across, and Heather, I am pleading with you to read through it, pull ten bucks out of your ass and sign the hell up. I think this could be the ticket for you.


    Check it out. If you’re serious about writing, and you suffer the shit that all of us are saying “i no wat u mene” then maybe this is the way.

    In the end, if nothing else, maybe it’ll make writing fun again.
    Posted 9/22/2003 3:45 PM by JakeThorin

    I’ve been to that site before…thought about doing it, actually.

    Maybe I will…

    Thanks for the comments, guys.
    Posted 9/22/2003 4:08 PM by cosleia

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