A blog entry from 1994. – p i x e l s c r i b b l e s

The first of my old diary entries is up. This one is from when I was 15 (I would turn 16 in two months) and a sophomore in high school.

I had a little trouble with Blogger…first of all, I don’t like any of their new templates. I’ll have to design a new one myself (I’d rather not use the same one I use over here, though the new design might have echoes of this one). Second, I can’t set the post date back further than 1999. I was hoping to be able to set them to the exact dates that my diary entries were originally written. I’ve emailed Blogger support to request that feature…we’ll see.

In the meantime, I’ll have plenty to do getting this site compliant with all the new features (including the integrated comments) and designing a new template!

As far as the post itself goes…it’s fairly representative of my writing back then. I tended to ramble and obsess over potential and nonexistent love interests. My prose wasn’t very tight back then, but I’m not particularly embarrassed by it. Like everything else, my writing has evolved over the years.

The fact that MP was interested in me was something that fascinated me at the time. He was very good looking, and had a sort of tragic air about him that teenage girls flock to. His life wasn’t the best, and one time in a fit of angst he threw himself out in front of a car. As far as I know, he was uninjured.

Basically, he was the type of guy that a girl just wanted to mother.

After almost-but-not-quite having sex with J (I’m not actually sure what happened, since my memory of what was said is warped by my primitive understanding of sex at that time)*, P moved on to her friend…A I think was her name. He quickly got her pregnant, and they got married and moved to Florida. I developed the opinion that his goal the whole time had been to get someone, anyone, pregnant so he’d have a reason to move out of his mother’s house. But who knows, really? I think that opinion was at least partially affected by my feelings of resentment at having been so easily passed on.

You’ll see more of P in later entries.

Also featuring in this post is DF. You’ll see this name often in my high school posts. D was, essentially, my dream guy. As I told my discussion group at GSP (a memory I now cringe at), “I even love the warts on his hands.” *cringe!* (Emotions evolve too, but yeesh.)

Complicating this matter was the fact that J liked D too. I think it was just my lot in life back then to like the same guys as my friends. It ultimately didn’t matter, though, because he was completely uninterested in either of us.

For those who are curious, D is now an actor on Star Trek: Enterprise. No, seriously. Apparently back in February, his role was expanded. Now his character even has a name! :>

He still doesn’t have an entry on the IMDb, nor is he listed on the Enterprise page on startrek.com. To be honest, I’ve actually never seen him on Enterprise (since I don’t watch it). An elaborate hoax by the Jessamine Journal?!

Maybe I should download that episode in which he supposedly features…it’s this one, as far as I can tell.

* Update 2005/03/12: I’m not in the habit of censoring things that have already been published. That goes against my personal ethics. I am not a revisionist; I want people reading this journal to see nothing but the truth of who I am and who I have been throughout my life. What I wrote in this post was what I knew and how I felt at the time, and so it will remain. But as the Internet is permanent, and people will see this post later and not otherwise know that my knowledge has changed, here is an addendum, for what it’s worth: J did not have sex with MP.

1 comment

Original comments from BlogKomm

05.14.2004 | 7:04 pm | AJ |

If you get that episode, you HAVE to let me see it sometime. ;D

05.14.2004 | 7:07 pm | Heather

What, so you can burn it? ;>

Original comments from Blogger

Amadala3333 said…

Duncan’s listed in the credits for “Bound” as crewman #2. It airs this coming Friday 4/15.

Also, he’s the only Star Trek actor to appear in a Star Wars fan film. (Return of Pink Five).
Monday, April 11, 2005 8:45:00 AM

Amadala3333 said…

Did you know you can download Star Trek episodes (without commercials) using WinMX?
Monday, April 11, 2005 8:46:00 AM

Heather Meadows said…

Cool that he’s actually in the credits this time, not cool that they’re not using his character’s name ;P

“Return of Pink Five” sounds…gay.

And yeah, I know about WinMX, along with many other filesharing methods.

If I know you, mind letting me in on who you are? :D
Monday, April 11, 2005 12:20:00 PM

Heather Meadows said…

Okay, so I’ve looked into Return of Pink Five, and it’s actually the third in a series about a valley girl Rebel.

Awesome ;D

The original Pink Five is okay, but Pink Five Strikes Back is awesome. Notable lines:

“Don’t you have to have like those midichlorians or something in your blood to be a Jedi?”

“Oh, no. That’s just something we used to tell people.”

and

“What do you mean, he takes everyone there?”

I’m not going to explain that one ;D Just go watch it.
Monday, April 11, 2005 10:44:00 PM

Amadala3333 said…

No, you don’t know me. I know Duncan from L.A. I did a Google search with “Duncan Fraser” and “Star Trek” trying to find out when he was on, and your site popped up (third one down, I think).
Friday, April 15, 2005 10:27:00 PM

Heather Meadows said…

Wow. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing! ;> But it’s nice to hear from you :)
Saturday, April 16, 2005 4:51:00 PM

Anonymous said…

Thanks! So, you knew him in his formative years? What was he like? Out here he’s highly respected and very straight (if you know what I mean). . .kinda hard to imagine him being goofy or childlike.

Amadala3333
Sunday, May 08, 2005 7:02:00 PM

Anonymous said…

Duncan’s photo is on Star Trek’s website.

http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/series/ENT/media.html?category=&show=season=4|context=4.1.7|template=cda.series.media.list.sfpa|count=165|series=ENT&group=7&contextURL=/startrek/page/mediaListPagination
and http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/series/ENT/media.html?category=&show=season=4|context=4.1.7|template=cda.series.media.list.sfpa|count=165|series=ENT&group=8&contextURL=/startrek/page/mediaListPagination
Sunday, May 15, 2005 11:44:00 PM

Anonymous said…

sorry . . .
here:

and

Heather Meadows said…

Let me make those links clickable.

First link (image is called “Steve D’Errico and Duncan K. Fraser”)

Second link (image is called “Five extras”)

Thanks for the tip.
Monday, May 16, 2005 12:01:00 AM

Anonymous said…

Howdy there! Thanks for taking such an interest in little old moi. ;-p I have to say I’m REALLY curious who amadala3333 is. You know me from L.A., huh? Fascinating. ‘:-, Just a tip, but if you want to see more and better pics, go to my website: http://www.duncankfraser.com and click on “Performances”. Oh, and my Imdb entry is now up (finally!). Should be a picture up in about 72 hours. Have a good one and God bless!

Duncan
Sunday, May 29, 2005 3:03:00 AM

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