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I’m trying to forget something

The other day, someone sent me an email with a horrifying story in it. I was skimming it and not really paying attention, because I thought it was just another happy-happy email forward, and so I saw things that I really did not want to read.

I don’t even know if the story in the email was true or not. But now it resurfaces in my mind at odd moments, when I’m not focused on something, and I have to force it away.

As soon as I realized what I was reading, I rejected it as false and deleted the email. I can’t remember any details like the names of the people involved. And I’m not sure I would want to look it up and see if it is true or not anyway. I don’t want it to be true. I want to pretend that it isn’t.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I guess…I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to block it out. I’m afraid, deep down, that this is yet another thing I’m going to have to “deal with”. I’m going to have to look this nauseating, terrible thing in the face and “get over it”.

And I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to deal with it.

It’s not fair.