Shelter in Place: Day 42

This is the update for Friday, April 24, 2020.

I felt completely rested when I got up this morning, which was pretty impressive given that I was so worn out last night that I had to nap for like three hours. I guess the nap helped! So I got right up, had my shower, had my breakfast, and got started on my day.

Breakfast was Greek yogurt with frozen blueberries and a boiled egg. I also had a little tiny bit of cottage cheese. For lunch I did some writing again, yay! I also had a ham and provolone sandwich, baked Lay’s, and sweet tea. For a snack I finished off the pork roast and mashed potatoes.

Work went okay. There were a lot of meetings, including one where I explained a flow chart I’d made and another that was a group brainstorming session, but I’m not as exhausted today as I was yesterday.

For dinner we ordered sushi from Sushi Huku and had it delivered. It was so good to have sushi again, omg.

Shelter in Place: Day 41

This is the update for Thursday, April 23, 2020.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I did two 20-minute snoozes, finally getting out of bed about 11 minutes into the second one. Didn’t have time for a shower, so I pulled my hair back into a ponytail (it is just barely long enough to still do this).

Breakfast was cottage cheese, a banana, and a boiled egg, and I also made some powdered cocoa. Lunch was a Hillshire bistro board (the one with an egg in it), and I ate that while working. I took a late lunch break at 2 and heated up a couple pieces of leftover roast and some mashed potatoes, because I was still hungry.

It was windy and rainy when I got up, but by around noon that was over, leaving the sky overcast. I usually open the blinds in the office to let sunlight in while I’m working, but there wasn’t much today.

Work was good. I am organizing a lot of information, and that’s taking some brain power, and then I also conducted a meeting today, and that drained me completely. It all went very well, but it was super tiring! Once work was over I went to bed and napped until 8pm.

Dinner was stir fry veggies and chicken with rice and soy gravy. I didn’t actually have stir fry veggies so I used the “Mexican-style” mix. Fortunately it still tasted good.

As usual we watched NCIS while eating. I was really enjoying an episode where Gibbs was going through a lot of emotional turmoil over his ex-wives, but then that story arc’s bad guys killed one of them, and not the one they introduced in that arc but Diane who I absolutely love, so that put a huge damper on the whole thing. If they could stop fridging women for Gibbspain I would really fucking appreciate it.

I should try to tally who all has died in the name of Gibbspain…by which I mean being killed by someone, not like dying of old age. The only man I can think of off the top of my head is Mike Franks, but on the woman side there’s at least Shannon, Kelly, Kate, Jenny, and now Diane. Bleh. (Other women have died, but not necessarily to hurt Gibbs directly.) This all makes me think of how Person of Interest fridged Joss Carter by shoehorning in a last-second romance between her and Reese before killing her. He had already literally lost a love to a bad guy, kicking off his extra-judicial law enforcement activities; the same thing happening again didn’t even serve a story purpose.

I know that in some cases the actresses want to leave the show, but you don’t have to kill them to achieve that. Ziva in NCIS is a great example of how you can organically have a character leave the main cast without killing them.

Anyway.

I stayed up until midnight thanks to the nap, but adding the nap to the regular sleeping time comes out to about my normal amount of sleep, so I think it was fine. And I feel pretty great this morning (I’m finishing this post the next day, lol).

Shelter in Place: Day 40

This is the update for Wednesday, April 22, 2020.

Woo what a milestone! 40 days!

Today was fine I guess. In addition to the cottage cheese, banana, and boiled egg I had for breakfast, I heated up a leftover mini meatloaf from last week because I was pretty hungry. For lunch I had a sandwich and popcorn and actually did some writing! Work went pretty well; I had a productive meeting and learned a lot.

For dinner we had frozen dinners because I was tired and cramping. We watched a bunch of NCIS and then went to bed. And that was pretty much it.

Shelter in Place: Day 39

This is the update for Tuesday, April 21, 2020.

I haven’t written anything creative in I don’t know how long—a week? Longer? I don’t feel like there’s much to look forward to right now. With so many people, including the governor of the state of Georgia, being shortsighted and foolish about this pandemic, it seems like shelter in place will never end. Not having an idea of when it might end makes it hard to be positive. I can’t make plans. I don’t know when I’ll see my friends and family again.

I went to the store this morning because I had a prescription ready. I covered up as much as possible, including wearing a hat and tucking my pant legs into my socks, and of course I wore a mask and gloves. While I was there I looked for a few things that we didn’t get in our curbside pickup order on Saturday and that Sean wasn’t able to find in the store when he checked that same evening. I snagged some toilet paper and paper towels (which I had been really worried about), some frozen fish and veggies, a couple frozen dinners because I figured I could make them fit in the freezer (and I did, with effort), some more dinner sausage, lunch meat, cheese sticks, Slim Jims, various Knorr noodles, two boxes of au gratin potatoes, and soy-flavored ramen.

The only thing I really wanted and couldn’t find was Knorr Alfredo noodles. I got a bunch of imitation crab, so I hope I can find Alfredo noodles online or something. Maybe the crab would be okay with garlic shells? I dunno.

I miss sushi. I’m going to look into whether any sushi restaurants are doing takeout. Maybe we can have some on Friday. That would be something to look forward to.

Today I had planned to do a video chat with a coworker and friend at lunch, but I wasn’t feeling up to it, so I rescheduled with her and spent my break watching Haikyuu!! instead, starting season 3. Seasons 1 and 2 had kind of accelerated pacing; character arcs I would have expected more time to be spent on were done very rapidly, with some even wedged in as retcons/flashbacks. It wasn’t bad, per se, but I like it when the story spends a little more time on things like that. Season 3, on the other hand, is all about a single 5-set volleyball match, the final prefectural match before nationals. They stretched things out so much that an entire episode was spent just on the opening ceremony. It’s quite a contrast to the first two seasons, but I enjoyed it. I enjoy the show in general; all the characters are really fun. I finished season 3 after work and look forward to checking out the OVA and what’s out so far of season 4 soon.

I’m at a point with a lot of my work where I have to wait on other people, which can be hard for me. I also had a lot of trouble focusing for much of the workday, I think because of anxiety over going to the store/the situation in general. I had to drink some sweet tea in the early afternoon to get myself back on track. Fortunately, it seemed to work. My brain got unstuck and I was able to make good progress on a project that involves a lot of problem-solving style thinking. By the end of the workday I was actually feeling pretty good.

After work I made frozen fish, creamy garlic shells, and Italian-style veggies (Sean did not care for that mix of veggies) and we watched Haikyuu!! and an episode of NCIS.

I went to bed feeling pretty decent.

Shelter in Place: Day 38

This is the update for Monday, April 20, 2020.

Today I decided to cut my hair.

I had been getting tired of how long it was, how it kept getting in the way (and also getting in my butt). So when I got out of the shower I dried off but left my hair wet and asked Sean to chop it off for me. When he’d cut it to just past shoulder length, I trimmed what I could see to make it even in the front. It actually looks pretty decent.

Work went fine. A bunch of meetings and discussion. After work I lay down in bed with Sean (no euphemism) and napped for a bit. Then I got up and started making dinner (roast, mashed potatoes, peas). We watched NCIS again while we ate. And that was pretty much the day.

Shelter in Place: Day 37

Today is bad.

I was very anxious yesterday and that seems to have bled into today. I read a description of what it’s like to die of COVID-19, which was probably unhelpful. I also saw a bunch of news stories about the morons who are protesting shelter-in-place because they can’t stand being inconvenienced and don’t care who dies as long as they can get their hair cut. Out there spreading the virus around even further, trying to kill everyone.

I got up sometime after 8 and sorted my pills for the week. I didn’t bother getting dressed. I warmed up the leftover sweet and sour chicken and rice from last night and ate it over the next few hours as a combined breakfast and lunch. My day started at the dining table, but I got really upset and started crying, so I decided to go back to bed. I took my laptop and watched some Haikyuu!! and tried not to get any more anxious.

I’m afraid Sean was exposed to the virus when he went into the Kroger and he brought it back to me and I’m going to get sick. It’s not really an irrational fear, but it’s certainly an unhelpful one.

My chest feels congested and I’ve been coughing the past couple days, but this could be related to pollen. I’m really trying not to overreact to everything.

I’m just a giant ball of fear and anxiety and despair today. It’s not pleasant.

Shelter in Place: Day 36

This is the update for Saturday, April 18, 2020.

I was up about an hour later than usual last night, and I let myself sleep in, so I got up sometime around 10:30am. My standard morning routine these days is:

  • Get out of bed, leaving bed unmade
  • Go into the bathroom
  • Take morning meds and set out midday meds
  • Brush my hair, if it looks ridiculous
  • Sit on the porcelain throne for a while and:
    • Check my personal email
    • Play Words with Friends
    • Play The Arcana
    • Read Twitter
    • Scroll Instagram
  • Take a shower if necessary (I shower every other day, unless I have gone outside or worked out, and in those cases I may end up showering twice in one day)
  • Get dressed, brush hair, and put on makeup
  • Treat my gross toe (that is all the detail you’re getting about that)
  • Collect midday meds and carry them and my phone out of the bathroom
  • Make bed now that it has cooled down (this is an anti-bed bug precaution, not that I have ever had bed bugs)
  • Put midday meds in my beautiful English rose pill box (thanks Mom!!)
  • Have breakfast

This is all basically the same whether it’s a workday or not. Today’s Saturday, so instead of yogurt and a boiled egg made by Sean, breakfast was sunny-side-up eggs and toast made by me. I tidied the kitchen a bit while I cooked, emptying most of the contents of the sink into the dishwasher, and then I cleaned my dining table cover of cookie crumbs, and then I sat at the table with breakfast and my laptop and goofed off all morning and into the early afternoon.

In between shitposting/having Deep Thoughts on Twitter, I finished loading the dishwasher and started it running, then started two loads of laundry. I wanted to get my jeans washed since I wore them out yesterday (even though I didn’t get out of the car, lol). I also wanted to wash Sean’s jeans since I’m not sure they were cleaned after our last grocery run (which I believe is the last time he wore them). The virus would totally be dead by now, but still. And I wanted to do whites even though it wasn’t that big a load, just to do it. (I seemed to be in Chore Mode.)

Around 2 o’clock I fixed myself a lunch of leftovers: the rest of the casserole I made last week, some mashed potatoes, and some mixed veggies.

My therapist has been out on medical leave, but she’s coming back, virtually, in May. She emailed last night to let everyone know (all patients BCCed) and to ask if we wanted appointments. I definitely do, so I replied right away.

Sean woke up around 4 and I started cooking dinner around 5:30, but we ended up not having time to eat before going to pick up our grocery order from Kroger. During the drive I felt extremely anxious. I had put on long pants, a long sleeved shirt, a mask, a scarf, and gloves, but I still felt really vulnerable. The knowledge of what COVID-19 could do to me has been sinking in more and more.

When we got there Sean went into the store to see if they had any toilet paper. I wish he hadn’t. They didn’t have any, anyway.

The store associate brought our stuff out on a cart, handed us the eggs, and put the rest in the trunk. We drove home and put the stuff away; I kept my outside outfit on while touching the bags but then once everything was mostly sorted I washed up and switched to night clothes. I finished putting things away (including breaking up meat and bread and putting it in the freezer) and then scoured the kitchen with 409 and took a shower. The whole day I had been feeling paranoid about my hair not being clean.

We finally ate our meal, which was grilled chicken breasts topped with some leftover sweet and sour sauce, steamed white rice, and microwave edamame. It was actually pretty good, though the chicken was a little tough from sitting for so long. While eating we watched a few episodes of NCIS. The grocery store had ice cream sandwiches this time, which made me very happy, and I had one for dessert.

I have been playing Words with Friends with Mom for a while now, and it’s really fun. I check in throughout the day and right before bed. So I did that and went to sleep a bit before midnight.

Shelter in Place: Day 29

This is the update for Saturday, April 11, 2020.

It was cold when I got up in the morning; when I checked my weather app it said the temperature was 40°. I decided to take a walk, expecting that there wouldn’t be too many people out. And there weren’t, at first, but as the day warmed up plenty of maskless people who didn’t seem to feel like properly distancing appeared on the neighborhood walking trail. (I passed one couple who were jogging abreast of each other, taking up the whole damn walkway, and they didn’t even bother going single file to pass me. I stepped as far off the path as I could and turned away so I wouldn’t breathe their air through my balaclava; one of them said “Good morning! Thank you!” and I wanted to throw something at them, lol.)

Anyway, I had a good walk, and once I was off that main path I didn’t see too many other people. Afterwards I showered and ordered Shane’s for lunch. Mom had sent me some medical face masks, so I put one on for my trip to pick up the food, and I also stopped into CVS briefly to get some allergy medicine for Sean. At least in there, proper safety precautions were happening. Most of the other customers and all the employees had masks on, and the prescriptions area had marks on the floor so people would wait the right distance away. At Shane’s, I had them drop my food in through the passenger window again, and yet again I shifted it to a plate immediately when I got home, threw out all the packaging, and scoured the countertops and my hands.

While I ate lunch I got some writing done on a story I hadn’t messed with in awhile, and then I watched a few episodes of Kim’s Convenience, and then I decided to sign up for Disney+ and watch Frozen 2. I didn’t watch it completely uninterrupted; Sean and I submitted our tax return about half an hour in, and then I stopped again to order dinner, and again to shuffle all the food into different containers when it arrived. By the time we finished the movie (which I enjoyed quite a bit!), it was time for bed.

All in all, it was a nice day. I continue to be unhappy with other people’s lack of caution about the pandemic, but at least I am able to be cautious myself.

Shelter in Place: Day 28

Today was nice.

First of all, while I woke up a little after 7, I decided to go back to bed and didn’t get up again until after noon. I had a fun adventure dream that I don’t really remember and I felt happy and rested when I got up.

Sean had packed me a lunch as though I were working today. I had considered getting Shane’s, but since he’d already done that work I just ate what he’d made: a tuna fish sandwich and some Cheetos. I also ate part of the breakfast, the Greek yogurt, and added blueberries like I did yesterday. While eating I sat at the kotatsu on my writing laptop and played music on the TV. I didn’t write much for most of the day, just sort of goofed off and had conversations and read things, but I did end up writing a short one-shot about Salacious B. Crumb being in one-sided love with C-3PO. (I am a very serious author. In my defense, a friend gave me the prompt. But I am the one who actually wrote it.)

Dinner was crab Alfredo and peas. I cleaned up the kitchen while cooking, since I’d left Sean a mess yesterday. Sean and I watched two episodes of NCIS, and then I went back to goofing off on Twitter for a few hours.

Having the day off was just what I needed. I felt unhurried and unstressed and just enjoyed myself all day. I did go outside once, to check the mailbox, and it was in the 50s and everything was very green. Beautiful day.

I am going to try to take a walk at some point this weekend. I’m also going to get some Shane’s. :)

Shelter in Place: Day 27

This is the update for Thursday, April 9, 2020.

For breakfast I had Greek yogurt and a boiled egg. We’ve been out of bananas for a while. I remembered that I had gotten some frozen blueberries, so I put some of those in the yogurt, and it was really good.

I ate my Hillshire Farms Bistro Board early, at around 10am. I didn’t really have time for a lunch break due to a bunch of meetings, so I sort of turned in my chair and got on my photo-editing computer and goofed off for about half an hour when I had a free moment. I wrapped up everything I could since I was taking the next day off, and I logged off at 5.

Knowing that I was done working for the week was a relief. I felt very free. Sean was sleeping in the bedroom, so I took the opportunity to bake cookies. (Normally I try not to make a bunch of noise in the main living area if he’s asleep on the couch.) I made a regular batch of Nestle Tollhouse, using the dining table as my staging area. While I did clean up the table afterwards, I did not really clean up the kitchen, so Sean took care of that for me later.

After baking the cookies, I started on dinner, which was pork roast, scalloped potatoes from a box, and mixed veggies. I was able to cook the roast and the potatoes at the same time, and it worked out perfectly. We ate and watched NCIS until bedtime. It was a pretty decent day.

Damn it, Gibbs

I’m mad at Gibbs Gardens.

They keep sending me emails about how they’re still open, and what all is blooming now, and how they are in compliance with Gov. Kemp’s shelter-in-place order. Right now there is a lot in bloom, and I really want to go.

BUT I CANNOT.

They say:

PLEASE NOTE:
IN COMPLIANCE / STATE

  • Exercise in our 300 acre Gardens with miles of multilevel walkways.
  • Easy to maintain 6ft. of social distance.
  • All visitors will use outside express gate to enter/exit Gardens. (Members included)
  • Members’ current guest passes not accessible because computer not available at outside gate.
  • Cash currently not accepted in ticketing.
  • NO tram service.
  • Arbor Café – Pre-packaged snack items and drinks ONLY.
  • NO outside food.
  • Restrooms available.

And they link to the governor’s 2020 executive orders, as if to say, see? Everything is fine!

Everything is not fine.

“Easy to maintain 6ft. of social distance” is an irresponsible thing to say. The virus is airborne. If you walk through a spot where someone just walked, even if there is six feet between you, you’re still breathing in air that they just exhaled. In a garden, all you are doing is walking along trails where a bunch of people have walked ahead of you.

The virus can also live on surfaces for hours all the way up to days, depending on the surface material. “Restrooms available” does not tell me what precautions you are taking. I highly doubt that you are only letting one person in at a time and that you are scouring your facilities after each person.

These constant emails telling me that everything is fine and that I should come see the pretty flowers are basically torture, because ever since this began I have wanted to go there SO BADLY. It is KILLING ME that I am missing all the spring blooms. Apparently right now the cherry trees, azaleas, pansies, Spanish bluebells, and snowball viburnum are at peak, and I AM MISSING IT.

I HATE THIS.

Shelter in Place: Day 26

This is the update for Wednesday, April 8.

I decided I didn’t want to eat yogurt for breakfast, so I made myself eggs and toast instead. The pan was a little too hot, but I didn’t overcook the yolks, so yay. Lunch was a sandwich and chips, and I had apple slices and chocolate chips for a mid-afternoon snack. For dinner I had thawed some ground beef, but instead of making meatloaves I decided to make a casserole. I found a recipe on AllRecipes for a casserole using minute rice, cream of chicken soup, chicken noodle soup, and an onion, so I made that, and it was delicious! We had mixed veggies on the side.

I didn’t go on a walk or anything, and work was too busy for me to even take a real lunch break, but I did have a movie date with Lee after dinner! She streamed TRON: Legacy for us, which I hadn’t seen before, and I really enjoyed it. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack since the movie came out (I love Daft Punk) and I was glad to actually see the movie that incredible music was written for. The story was good and the characters were fun and I loved Quorra! I also didn’t know Bruce Boxleitner was in the film, so that was a pleasant surprise. (I love him.)

After the movie was over it was bedtime. I went to bed feeling very cheerful. I need to do more group watches of TV and movies I think!

Shelter in Place: Day 25

This is the update for Tuesday, April 7.

It wasn’t a great day. I didn’t go on a walk…I’ve been avoiding it ever since my walk at the river where there were five billion people around me. I also only took two pictures, and they were both of my dinner.

At lunch, I wrote:

I just want this to be over.

This morning I let myself sleep in for 20 minutes. When my timer went off I didn’t get up and I didn’t reset it. Fortunately I was awake enough to finally force myself to get out of bed. It helped that I had to pee.

Today has been the worst in terms of focusing on stuff. I feel like my brain doesn’t work. I’m taking Friday off, but I don’t know how much that will help.

Today’s food:

  • Cottage cheese
  • Boiled egg
  • Chocolate chips
  • Hillshire Snacking Bistro Board
  • Sweet tea

Around mid-afternoon I started to spiral into depression, but I was able to talk myself back out.

Shelter in Place: Days 22-24

Okay so I missed some daily updates there. Let’s catch up.

Saturday, April 4, 2020 (Day 22)

This was a pretty good day. I slept in a bit, then banished Sean from the living room so I could have the TV. I sat at the dining table with a breakfast of a banana and some cottage cheese (in one of my newest cherry blossom pattern rice bowls) and poked around on my writing laptop for a bit, but I felt like was just goofing off. After whining about feeling directionless and unproductive on Twitter a little, I moved to the couch, made the last of the popcorn, and put on Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Wow, that was a good choice. Absolutely gorgeous film. I cried a lot.

After that, I heated up leftovers for lunch (mini meatloaves, Julienne potatoes, mixed veggies) and worked on some writing. I made some progress on several small stories and officially posted two of them. It felt great to actually accomplish something.

When dinnertime rolled around I asked Sean if he wanted to get Shane’s, but he was uninterested. He suggested Thai and I was uninterested. We compromised on Mexican, and we placed an order online and went and picked it up. All safety protocols were followed: we put everything in different containers when we got home and washed our hands and the countertops.

I had beef fajitas. They were delicious. And I have leftovers.

Sunday, April 5, 2020 (Day 23)

I let myself sleep in a lot. I actually woke up for the first time around 5 in the morning, but I just went and gave Sean a hug and then went back to bed. When I got up again a little before 11, I went out for a walk.

I was thinking I wouldn’t go down to the river trail, because it was sure to be crowded, but then the apartment complex turned out to be crowded too, so I said what the hell and hiked down to the river. I saw a ton of pretty flowers, and the river was rushing in a way that felt vibrant and free, and the air temperature was great. Unfortunately, there were about fifty billion people down there. It wasn’t too hard to avoid them to begin with, but once I got near the parking lot at the other end, it was almost like a festival. I ducked off onto a side path for a bit, then gave up and just turned around. I did not come within six feet of anyone, but I did worry about walking behind people who might be breathing out particulate that I was then walking through. I was wearing my balaclava, which I disinfected rigorously when I got home, but I think I will just stop going to the damn river, for real this time.

When I got home I hopped in the shower and scoured myself. Then I spent some time with Sean (there’s that code again, tee hee). He wasn’t feeling real well due to allergies, so he decided to take a long hot shower of his own and try to clear his sinuses. I ordered Shane’s for lunch for myself, since Sean would usually still be asleep at that time, and got curbside pickup. When the server brought it out I rolled down my passenger window so they could set it in the seat without having to get too close. It worked out pretty well. Of course, I shifted it all to a plate when I got home, disinfected the gallon of tea, etc.

I sat at the coffee table/kotatsu and ate my Shane’s and worked on some more writing. Sean stayed up, using the blow dryer to try and dry out his sinuses, and eventually he came and lay down behind me on the couch. After awhile I couldn’t concentrate on writing anymore, so I closed all that down. I was extremely grumpy by this point, so we ordered Jimmy John’s for dinner and had it delivered. (The delivery person sent me a picture by text message of the order sitting by our door and said “Hope that felt like amazon” which cheered me up some, haha.) The food made me feel better, fortunately. Sean was very snuggly around bedtime and I didn’t want to get up from where he was lying in my lap, so I put off going to bed by about 45 minutes, whoops. Fortunately I still slept pretty well.

Monday, April 6, 2020 (Day 24)

I slept in a bit but got started at 8 as usual. Had an egg and cottage cheese for breakfast while working. On my lunch break I ate a turkey sandwich and some cheesy popcorn and got on my writing laptop and worked on stories. I finished out my workday eating apple slices, cheese, and a Slim Jim. (And the rest of my Jimmy John’s sandwich from last night.)

After work I got on my writing computer in bed and worked on stories some more. Around 6:30 I finally started cooking dinner. I had thawed some chicken so I cut it up and stir-fried it with two bags of stir-fry starter. It turned out to be just enough food. Sean and I ate and watched NCIS and had ice cream. Around 9:30 I tried getting back in bed with my laptop to write some more, but I was tired and irritable, so nothing productive happened.

That’s it for those three days. It’s getting harder and harder to…I don’t know, live? I feel trapped and helpless and worried, and also angry, and I can’t focus on things. I’m just…tired.