Category: general

Recently, Luke posted about a movie called Hotel Rwanda, and I remarked on his post. In the essay, Luke stated:

We are responsible, yet we do nothing. We talk of freedom from oppression, about the unalienable rights of man. We claim to be just, but we do nothing. We intervene, protect, nation-build where our interest is best served, where a prize is to be had. The suffering and squalor of the rest, unluckily born to a nation low in natural resources or strategic military value, is placed on exhibit nightly, to be browsed and digested, mined for all its shock and fear and then to be forgotten, as though merely having heard about such things is its own kind of heroism.

Over on Sushicam, Jeff incited a debate with his post concerning the Alaska oil drilling (the last bit of the entry). In the comments on that post, Kryn stated:

If the US would not hold an agressive role towards some countries/factions and tell them what’s wrong and what’s right, they wouldn’t oppose the US so much and the US would therefore not have the need to wage war on those countries/factions. Please consider who started it, and don’t say “they did by not being democratic according to the American way” because it doesn’t roll. The US should just stop interfering with countries and enforce them a different policy. The only REAL reason that the US enforces their policy is because their administration is power hungry and comprises mostly countrol freaks. You already confirm this point by regarding China and Russia as potential enemies. They are no threat to the US, they just want to be left alone and deal with their internal affairs themselves, without the US bullying them and interfering. The US simply does not have that right. It is that attitude that will result in WW3. Where did Iraq actually start? Because the US didn’t approve of Iran’s ways, so they installed Saddam Hussein (yes, the US put Saddam in power and provided him with financial aid and weapons in the first place). Why did the US lost the Vietnam war? because they interfered with someone’s internal affairs. He is not the only dictator put in place by the US. The US had no business there. If they want to be communists, let them, they’ll find out themselves: How do you most effectively teach a small kid that a bowling kettle is hot? By not stoping it when it wants to touch it. It gets burned and it learned a valuable lesson. Unfortunately the US doesn’t seem to learn from its mistakes. STop interfering and the terrorist attacks will stop as well. The same happens with european countries. We get aggressive tones and threats when we interfere with others. when we don’t there is no problem. Can you explain? ANother thing, is why does the US always complain about countries having nuclear power and weapons of mass destruction? Why does the US always want to remove those with force? It is hypocritic, because the US is the number one when it comes to the possession of nuclear armaments, biochemical weapons of mass destruction. How can the US tell others off for it when they have the largest capacity in these monstrosities?

Here are two opinions censuring American society for completely different reasons. The first states that wrong is wrong, and we should put at stop to wrong when we see it, regardless of where it occurs. The second states that countries are sovereign, that no one has the right to impose their culture on others.

I feel, oddly, like both of them are right.

This is why I have such a hard time making decisions concerning politics.

I guess the only thing we can do is make choices on a case-to-case basis, and hope we are doing the right thing–that our elected officials are doing the right thing. In the Information Age, the prospect of weighing every single thing that happens between countries is overwhelming, but it’s really the only way to be fair. I don’t think we can make a hard and fast rule of non-interference or total interference.

I was just thinking, “Hmm, 8:30. Maybe I should go ahead and go to bed, since I was so dead this morning.”

Then, suddenly, I realized, “I DON’T HAVE TO GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING!!”

God I love weekends.

Will Smith is pretty perceptive. From MSN’s gossip column (one of my guilty pleasures. Also, it looks like that link will expire as soon as new news comes around. How paleolithic of Microsoft):

Meanwhile, in other Diaz news, Will Smith believes the American public isn’t ready to see him lock lips with the “Charlie’s Angels” star, whom he apparently eyed for his leading lady in “Hitch” (the part went to Eva Mendes).

“How are you not going to consider Cameron Diaz?” he’s quoted as saying in the London Mirror. “But Hollywood is nervous about a black man kissing a white woman on screen. That becomes massive news in the US. Outside America, it’s no big deal. But in the US, it’s still a racial issue. Ironically, Hollywood is happy to do it if the film is about racism. But they won’t simply do it and ignore it.”

This reminds me of the Friendly Hostility furor that recently erupted across the webcomics community. (For what it’s worth, I thought the newsbox was cute.)

Oh, well. Maybe someday we Americans will get over ourselves.

So I did a search on Amazon.com under “DVD” for “TV”, to see if I could find more stuff to waste money on. There is some pretty interesting stuff available, including this.

A Gargoyle leader named Goliath, who has a thing for a human woman? Hmmm…

At that time, AJ will see this!

Of course, knowing him, he’s probably already aware…

Bad Guy (to sister): You should be nicer to your big brother. (to Vaughn) Isn’t that what the Bible says?
Vaughn (dressed as a Catholic priest): What, do I look like some kinda expert?

Fury’s Ferry Road is pretty busy. There’s construction now to expand it from two to four lanes, but for now everyone is cramped into the two. There’s no center lane for turning or anything, so when people have to turn left off the road, it’s very inconvenient for everyone behind them.

I try to be sensitive to this, and so I take my left turn as quickly as possible. If I’m on approach and I see an opening, I’ll barrel into it rather than wait for another one.

This is probably not the best idea after a rain.

Today, as I swung in, I felt the right rear of the car begin to slide out to the right. This is the point at which you’re supposed to correct by steering into the turn. I actually don’t remember what I did…I think I just stopped doing anything, held the wheel steady, took my feet off the gas and brake, and just waited to see what would happen. Then, as I hydroplaned into a complete 180 in the parking lot entrance, I was able to brake a little. My right front tire bounced up onto the curb, and I stopped.

The whole time, I kept saying, “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” Not as if my car was a horse; these were expressions of shock, a la Keanu Reeves.

It was over in something like five seconds. I put it in reverse, backed off the curb, and crawled the rest of the way down Blackburn Drive to our building. When I finally parked, I got out and inspected the tire. It wasn’t making any noise, and it looked fine. I kicked it and it seemed stiff. I don’t think it was damaged, but it was probably weakened.

This is the same wheel that went up on a curb in Atlanta once…I’d been visiting Charles and was on my way back to I-75 and was in a hurry, so I didn’t notice that traffic was stopped in front of me until I was almost on top of it. I braked hard and flung the wheel to the right to keep out of oncoming traffic, and when I went up on the curb then my tire went flat instantly. Obviously, this tire was replaced when I got home. (My car is old, so its spare is an actual tire. So it wasn’t too bad for me to drive 400 miles on…)

In any case, the replacement tire is the one that just went up a curb. I hope it lasts, because it would be really wasteful otherwise. My left front tire went flat just the other day and I had to replace it. I don’t feel like replacing another tire yet. And when I do, I’d rather it be one of the two back ones, which are older.

As you can see, I’m a pretty pragmatic person. My hands were only shaking a little as I carried my purse and my bowl of oatmeal into the office.

My former coworker sent me this email forward because she knows what I’m going through right now.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and place d it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked,

“Tell me, what you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity …. boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. however, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter.

I honestly thought this was enough to get the point across, but the email continues:

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It kind of went overboard, but one part really stuck out to me:

The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

I came in this morning with no idea of how to deal with everything. Everything I’ve encountered lately has indicated that I need an attitude adjustment. So, how can I make lemonade out of all these lemons? Do I need to quit what I’m doing and start something else, or do I need to remake my approach to it?

I feel like I need to remake my approach to life, and that one essential step in that is quitting what I’m doing now. In fact, I had an odd thought today: that what I would really like to do is go home and help my parents with their business.

They can’t afford to pay me, so I’m not sure how that thought will help me. But maybe I can start thinking of ways to “grow” their business? (Ugh, business-speak.) And I need to also start learning things…like accounting, and real estate, and HR, and business management.

And of course, during it all…I need an income.

More to mull on, I guess.

Someday, I’ll stop obsessing over Kyou Kara Maou, and people who visit here will have something to read that they might actually care about. For now, though, I’m stuck.

It makes me feel like I want to do something important, like I want to have a Great Purpose. I started crying this morning on my way to work because I could only think of one purpose that I know, without a doubt, that I want. You can all guess what that is.

In any case, if the preview for episode 35 is any indication, Yuuri is going to have to fight Konrad. I quasi-predicted this, but it still shocked the hell out of me…now the question is, is Konrad under mind control, or is he being manipulated/blackmailed, or is he pretending? (And the previous question, “How the hell did he get his/an arm back?”, still stands. Because that is definitely an arm. So I suppose the other option, that it isn’t really Konrad, is still viable. However, it seemed like Morgif recognized Konrad…so…)

I’m not even a guy!

Which “Kyou Kara Maou” Bishounen are you? brought to you by Quizilla

I had the following train of thought earlier today:

All the stuff in Kyou Kara Maou that I’ve been trying to figure out is stuff that usually bores the hell out of me. It’s politics in a fantasy setting, with magic, and people riding horses, and dirt (I don’t know what it is about fantasy that gives me a “dirty” feel, but I get a grimy feeling from most fantasy, and it’s distasteful to me somehow), and medieval warfare, and so on. Why, then, am I so interested in it? Why do I keep obsessing about it?

Because of the characters. The characters are brilliantly portrayed. Their misunderstandings and passions literally shape the face of their world. Adelbert, for example, does what he does because he lost Julia, because he couldn’t comprehend seeking peace with the nations that caused her death, because he hated the nobility (Gwendal’s cousin, Hube) for ordering the attack that drained Julia dry of life. This is why he defected to the humans he despises, and is willingly trying to bring about the end of the world. Konrad is absolutely devoted to his king, because of the love he was never able to express twenty years ago. His devotion has kept Yuuri alive, and also has given Yuuri free rein when the other advisors and attendants would have stopped him. And Yuuri…well, he’s completely different from everyone’s expectations of a Maou. He has terrible power and can do terrible things, and we have seen that he isn’t incapable of evil, especially when he’s passionate. But at its heart his motivations are pure, and his greatest sin is that of rage and revenge. (In this way, he is really far closer to understanding Adelbert than either of the men realizes.)

The characters have made these political machinations, these talks of war, these fantasy events, important and meaningful to me. They shape these events and are shaped by them.

So was that why I became disenchanted with the AMRN? Because of the characters?

At first I thought I had really hit upon something, but then an old argument reared its head. There is something that stands out about Kyou Kara Maou, about most of the anime I enjoy. There is a very powerful and influential main character, who is clearly above everyone else, even though the other characters are also exceptional. The greatness of this character drives the story.

I like stories about characters who are important and special. I want to be important and special.

I am too egotistical to enjoy RPGs.

It’s impossible to be the most important person in an RPG, because that’s unfair. You can be the most important such-and-such (an idol singer in Macross, for example), but the main story is not always going to be about you. In fact, the story will continue on just fine without you.

I am simply not interested in stories in which the characters are not pivotal.

And it’s impossible to make the characters truly pivotal in an RPG, especially one that takes place online, because you never know if someone’s internet connection might go out, or if they’ll get ill, or if they’ll take a sudden vacation, or what. You have to keep things moving for everyone else, despite people’s absence.

That is why the stories in RPGs have never been real to me except during those times when I was free to post every day, multiple times a day. I forced myself into the important role of the character(s) who held the plot together. The game became about me, because of my pace and the vividness of my writing.

When I started to realize that this was unfair, I started having less desire to post.

It seems odd that it took so long for me to realize this.

(Random: Anissina and Gwendal! Ice-dancing!)

So, every time I refresh this page to see if anyone has left a new comment, I end up scrolling past those Kyou Kara Maou pictures. I swear, if I don’t get a new episode soon, I am going to go nuts.

So, here are some speculations about what happened to Konrad. (Please, if you actually know what happens, don’t tell me. I want to find out by watching the episodes. Assuming I ever get new ones.)

In any case, we know that Konrad is in Big Shimaron from episode 33. He seems to be a bodyguard of Big Shimaron’s king, actually. How did this come to pass?

Well, Big Shimaron is Konrad’s homeland, but if he went there willingly, he must have had another reason. He’s loyal to the Mazoku now. Obviously he expected that Yuuri would have been transported home safely, so he wouldn’t be thinking that he needed to escape and get back to New Makoku immediately. Therefore, perhaps he feigned death, then infiltrated the ranks of his attackers…though how he did this with a missing arm is a very good question.

Another possibility is that he allowed himself to be captured. But this begs the question of how he ended up at Big Shimaron. After all, Yuuri recognized the soldiers at Caloria–or at least, their weapons. He became enraged because he believed them to be the same as the people who’d severed Konrad’s arm. Assuming Yuuri was right (which is a big assumption; different human countries could have the same weaponry), the soldiers who attacked Yuuri and Konrad would have to have been from Small Shimaron, like that guy Adelbert was hanging out with. (Adelbert has, of course, cut his losses since the Box fiasco, and gone over to Big Shimaron.)

Of course, this assumes that Flurin recognized the soldiers as Small Shimaron soldiers correctly (and also that I understood events correctly). I believe that Flurin thought those soldiers were from Small Shimaron, the country with which she had ties, and so she had to hide what she was trying to do with Big Shimaron from them, and also act like everything was normal. It’s possible that this is not the case, but why would soldiers from Big Shimaron appear to try and save her from Big Shimaron rebels? So I think my thought process here makes sense.

(Though…it could have been an elaborate ruse. Adelbert wasn’t extraordinarily upset about having to leave Yuuri un-killed. He had other things to do. Perhaps this swift departure was planned…?)

Anyway, assuming the soldiers were from Small Shimaron, and assuming that they were from the same army that attacked Yuuri and Konrad, how would Konrad have gotten away from them and over to Big Shimaron?

Possibility: Big Shimaron soldiers intercepted the Small Shimaron soldiers, who had Konrad as prisoner. They defeated the Small Shimaron soldiers and brought Konrad “home”, where he was recognized as the son of their great swordsman, and offered a position as royal guard. Now Konrad would just be biding his time, learning what he can, and thinking about how and when to go to his true home.

Another possibility: Konrad is under some sort of mind control. (I know, I know.) This would be just the thing to do to Yuuri’s most loyal follower. I mean, it would destroy him to have Konrad take up arms against him. Konrad, the man who is in love with his very soul.

Which is why I don’t think any mind control could last very long…but you never know.

The mind control could be caused by Houjutsu, but it would have to be very powerful, and I’m not sure I’ve seen any Houseki wielders yet who are that strong. It could also be that Konrad is under the influence of Wincott poison, which would turn his body into a puppet (like what happened to Gunter). However, he said Yuuri’s name; I’m not sure puppets are able to do that. (Though maybe Konrad’s pure love for Yuuri’s soul enables him to break free of the control to an extent?)

At any rate, now that Yuuri is there, Konrad will have to act, whether he’s biding his time or under mind control or whatever. It’s just a matter of what he decides to do…

But a big question is, is that an arm? Did he get his arm back somehow? How would that have happened? Is it a fake arm, or did someone dredge the real one out of the sea?

His true arm seemed to preserve well. The fingers stayed fleshy and didn’t turn black, and the arm didn’t appear stiff when it was placed into the Box. Assuming this isn’t just because it’s gross to show dead body parts falling to pieces in animation, maybe some sort of power preserved his arm so that it could be reattached. Maybe Yuuri’s power did something to it, the power of his anguish–though he didn’t turn into the Maou when it happened, so that’s a slim possibility. Or maybe the soldiers who attacked him (Small or Big Shimaron, or wherever they were from) did something to his arm. But they left it behind in the burned-out wreckage of the church, so that’s unlikely. A third possibility is that the Mazoku did something to preserve it when they found it. And then there’s a wonky fourth possibility: that Julia did something.

(BTW: what is it about anime badasses being in star-crossed love with women named Julia?)

Assuming that is his arm, that it was preserved somehow and then reattached, how was it reattached? Does Big Shimaron have that ability? This indicates very powerful Houjutsu, which again I really haven’t seen yet. But if it isn’t his actual arm, what is it?

And finally…it’s possible that that isn’t Konrad at all. After all, Yuuri saw Konrad in the fire at Caloria. Maybe Konrad is…dead. Maybe this Konrad is some kind of puppet, another person twisted to look and act like Konrad, for the purpose of defeating the Mazoku.

:/

Edit 10:05 am: I apparently couldn’t decide how to spell “Shimaron” this morning. Also, I got Caloria’s name wrong at one point. Also, I thought of a couple other things.

Yuuri was summoned to the other world by someone else, not the Mazoku. So obviously someone has power, and it’s probably a human, since he appeared in a human country. So, whoever summoned Yuuri could also have reattached Konrad’s arm/be mind-controlling Konrad. I guess this would be a new character, because I can’t think of anyone with that kind of power.

I’m also not sure why the Great Sage (Murata Ken) was able to come to Caloria with Yuuri. Did he sense the summoning and use his own power to come, or was he sucked in because he dove into the pool after Yuuri? (Did he dive in because he sensed the summoning?) Either way, his presence indicates that more power is needed…it already helped, with the Box, but I get the feeling the worst is yet to come.

This is ridiculous.

My brow is all furrowed, and my mouth is bent into a frown, and I feel like I might burst into tears, or throw something, at any minute. I keep stalking around the apartment looking for something to engage me, but finding nothing. I don’t feel like watching anything else. I don’t feel like reading at all. Making lunches for tomorrow is boring. Heating up leftovers is boring and even unappetizing, even though the leftovers are delicious pizza and Chinese food. I feel like it would be a chore to eat because I would have nothing to do while I was eating. I keep thinking about just going for a drive, but I have nowhere to go, and the actual driving sounds boring. I don’t want to drive around aimlessly and waste gas. I thought about going in to work for a couple of hours of data entry, but I really don’t want to do that.

I don’t know what this is. Am I so used to having a zillion things to do all day, from the past two weeks of 8-10 hour days, that I can’t handle some down time? In my free time between working and sleeping, all I’ve really done is watch anime, and now I’m out of stuff to watch. Is that what the problem is?

Argh! This is so irritating! I want something to do that isn’t at my freaking computer! But I’m so much at a loss that my best option seems to be to just go to bed. At 7:25 pm!

BAH!

I want to go somewhere, or do something. I’m restless. I want to get out of the apartment. Taking the garbage out was nice, but not as fulfilling as I’d hoped. I called Brooke and Mari to see if they wanted to go biking, but neither one was available. Mari’s busy planning her cool-ass hafla, and Brooke’s spending some quality time with the fam.

I could go by myself, but that seems so boring right now, for some reason. I guess what I really want is to go somewhere with people, and socialize.

When I was out with Mari and her mom for Springtime Made in the South, her mom asked me, “So, have you made any more friends?” I responded, “I have Mari and Brooke!” At the time, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. I still don’t, really, but as you can see, I don’t have a huge list of people to call when I feel like going out, do I? :>

O_O I have no more episodes!!!! Chikusho!!!!!

Doesn’t that look like a hand? I thought his left arm was the one that is currently residing at the bottom of the sea…

Doushite?! Nande?! KONRAD!!