The crazy dreams are back! For one night, at least

I thought all my dreams had been banished by the CPAP, but last night I had a doozy.

I was going over to the house of the family of a friend of Sean’s for some reason, and I knew there was an item worth $80,000 there. The temptation was too great; I decided to steal it.

For a time I acted normally. Then, finally, I took my first step towards stealing the item. I don’t even remember what it was, but it ultimately didn’t matter because cops immediately popped out from nowhere and arrested me. Somehow, everyone had known my plan all along, and they’d been waiting to see if I would actually go through with it.

The police kept me in the house for a long time. I latched onto a female cop and kept trying to give her my statement. I wanted to cooperate as much as possible, because I knew I was guilty. But she kept brushing me off. Finally I was crying, saying, “I always thought that even if there was a lot of money involved, I’d still choose to do the right thing. But I guess not!” But the cop just looked at me, and didn’t ask any questions.

At some point the house changed into a huge, castle-like house where the highest towers broke through the cloud cover. Someone was there with me–the character was a lot like Ben, but somehow wasn’t him, and he was asking if the house continued down beneath the clouds, and whether he might use the place as the setting for a film. Later, there was a man who may have been wearing a white lab coat trying to perfect a bicycle-like floating vehicle in the home’s dungeon. He started riding it around the room, but then another man was yelling that it was his idea and started trying to make the guy crash. I used our PS3 remote control to make the vehicle slow down and avoid obstacles. “There you go,” I said.

After that I was for some reason in a long dirt tunnel with my bicycle, watching through the exit as the police discussed things, and trying to figure out a way to deal with them.

I was very relieved to wake up and realize I hadn’t tried to steal anything.

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Cemeteries

Recently there has been what news organizations might call a rash of cemetery thefts in the area. People are, understandably, upset; they’ve spend tens to hundreds of dollars decorating the plots of their loved ones, only to have those decorations taken by someone else.

For me, though, this all begs the question: why spend so much money to leave flowers in a field?

Your lost loved one is gone. There’s no way of knowing if they see you putting flowers on their grave. The act of decorating gravesites is for the mourner, not the deceased–it’s a way of keeping that person’s memory alive. Why, I ask, do you have to do it in this certain way?

I say, remember your loved ones in a more special way. Scrapbook. Set aside a certain day or time to think about them. Tell your kids/friends/family stories about them. Write about them. Cook their favorite meal and enjoy it with others who miss them.

You can’t buy meaning.

I haven’t lost a lot of friends or family, knock on wood. My great-grandmother is buried in Mount Sterling, and I think I know where the cemetery is…but I haven’t been there since she was interred. I remember her when I’m at the farm, and through my grandmother, and through the stories my dad tells. When I think about growing my hair out, I think about how she apparently had hair down to her ankles when she was younger–quite a feat, even if she was barely over four feet tall.

My grandfather died close to a decade ago. I know where he’s buried, but I have only been there once or twice. However, for many years I drove his car, and every time I got behind the wheel I thought of him. Whenever I see cute old men I think of how cute he got towards the end, and how he was always flirting with his nurses. I will always remember his bright blue eyes and how joyful they always seemed. And even though I lost it in the fire, I will always remember that last picture I took with him.

I just don’t think we need a location to go to for remembering. I think we are the best vessels for that. No matter where we are, the ones we love are with us in our memories. We can bring them anywhere we want to, and share them with whomever we choose.

In a few hundred years, when all available land is filled with cemeteries, will we think they are as important as we seem to think they are now?

I would rather be cremated and strewn in a garden. There doesn’t need to be a marker. I’m forward-thinking. Things change. That garden might need to become homes, or it might need to transition back into wild territory. The needs of the living should not take a backseat to the dead.

Those remains are not your loved one. Your loved one is inside you and everyone they knew and in the world they shaped through their life. Not in the ground. I don’t see the point of using up so much land to create a place that you end up going to out of a sense of duty, and not a desire to honor the lost.

There is going to come a time when our descendants have to decide what to do with all the cemeteries, unless something changes now.

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So cute!

Check out this ad for March for Babies (click for full size):

ridiculously cute baby in March for Babies ad

So cute I could die ;>

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Moo

The station got a tip from a viewer about 3000 cows that apparently disappeared from the Wrens area of Jefferson County after the tornado March 15. The lady told our morning producer:

“I bet that tornado picked them boogers up and sent them down to Florida on vacation! Someone’s looking for their hamburger meat tonight.”

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My freezer is ridiculous

So today I went and bought a zillion frozen dinners. Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, and Smart Ones. If it looked remotely appealing, it went in the cart. I tried to keep them below 600 grams of sodium, but that was impossible in some cases. I also got some frozen Indian dinners…chicken tikka masala, etc. I was pretty much out of luck with those in terms of sodium, but right next to them were some vegetarian dinners that had 350 grams…so I got both.

I also picked up a bag of frozen chicken, because I had the niggling feeling that I hadn’t been able to find any lately.

When I got home, I took everything out of the freezer in order to make things fit. I stacked the frozen dinners in the back and juggled most of the frozen veggies into the door. Then I started trying to fit all the meat back in.

I discovered during the course of all this that I already had three bags of frozen chicken in there.

One bag only had one chicken breast left, and it looked pretty crystallized so I threw it away. I also tossed a mostly-empty carton of ice cream and a mostly-empty tub of Cool Whip. Then I rearranged and rearranged and rearranged, trying to make it work. But no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the door to close.

Finally I gave up and I threw away the oldest bag of chicken. It looked pretty crystallized anyway. As for the rest…well, let’s just say that tonight’s dinner will consist of:

  • Hella frozen french fries
  • Hella steamed veggies
hella fries
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Sweet rig

Today’s Penny Arcade is absolutely hilarious, and so is Tycho’s rant:

It’s a little inside baseball I guess, but at the same time the story was so delicious that we couldn’t leave it be: a District Attorney in Texas is on trial for building himself a sweet rig on the county dime. The machine in question sports “two hard drives, seven fans, high-end video and audio cards, a wireless Internet connection and cables that glow under ultraviolet light.” It’s a crime, yeah, but it’s an awesome crime. I make an exception for awesome crimes.

“I would not configure a backup computer in that way,” says Mr. Gregg, FBI senior forensic examiner and reigning Understatement King.

Hard

From Marie’s blog:

I tend to think it’ll be a while before we move on from this whole fascination with stolen-identity and exposing-ourselves-in-ways-that-make-us-think-we-are-being-authentic. It’s just too tempting, too easy to follow the facile path and to engage yourself in a meaningful, and private endeavor is, well, hard.

Ouch.

Brooke and Heather Day

I took Wednesday off from work so I could spend the day with Brooke. We went on a few adventures.

First, we headed out to Thurmond Dam, by way of Pollard’s Corner.

This is the way Brooke always used to go to the lake. Pollard’s Corner is also on the way to Lincolnton, where I worked briefly in the summer of 2005.

After our stop to pick up sodas and snacks, we headed on to the dam. We went through Georgia until we got to the dam, which is different from the way I went last time. Last time I took 28 through Columbia County and into McCormick County before I got to the lake and river. This time we drove right over the dam to get to the Visitors Center.

The center was open, so we went in and looked at all the displays explaining about J. Strom Thurmond Dam. My favorite part was the window-walled room with views of the lake and pictures and discussions of the wildlife. We had a lot of fun with the bird call recordings; click here.

We went outside and took some pictures of the lake and dam, but it was pretty cold so we soon hopped back in the car and headed on. At this point we hit the field with the old turbine display.

Then we headed towards the dam…but instead of going immediately to the main observation area, we drove down to the boat ramp. I hadn’t done that last time because I figured the road just ended at the water, but it turned out there was a broad parking lot there, and some great views of the river and dam.

Once we had our fill of this angle, we headed up to the observation area, where we snapped photos and sat in a porch swing for awhile.

Click here for a video.

On our way back from the dam, we stopped at the Bartram Trail golf community to see what we thought. The houses were mostly okay, but the yards were pretty small, and we didn’t think we would want to live there. I’d previously had high hopes for the area so I was fairly disappointed, but I’m not expecting to ever live in a house that large anyway. Brooke and David are looking for a larger-sized home so they can host family from England, so it was unfortunate that the yards didn’t meet Brooke’s expectations.

Following that we went on a more mundane (but no less fun!) adventure:

After Brooke beat the pants off me for three games, we decided to go to downtown Augusta for awhile, picking up David on the way.


I need to find a camera that won’t add random glowing pixels to night shots.

After that we stopped at the grocery store for supplies and then went to my apartment for dinner and Eton mess, which is ridiculously easy to make and amazingly delicious.

It was a long, fun day. I’m glad we were able to spend so much time together!

Holding on

Originally written as a comment on Marie’s blog.

I’ve always been pretty bad about wanting to hang on to things. Visiting my mother’s family in Illinois as a child, I had two experiences that shocked me and made me think that maybe I was hanging on too tight.

The first was with my cousin Cary. We built a diorama out of paper and aluminum foil of some pretend land. When we were done, my cousin exclaimed, “And the best part about Imaginary World? Destroying it!” And she proceeded to tear what we had just created to shreds.

I was so horrified I couldn’t even react.

Later that same trip, at my Aunt Carol’s house, Carol was teaching me to crochet. I made a long, thin, curly something that I thought was pretty neat.

“Now for the fun part,” Carol intoned. “Destroying it!” And she started to pull at the yarn, tugging the loops apart at the end. (Obviously Cary and Carol spent a fair amount of time together.)

This time I thought quickly enough to protest. “No!” I cried. “Don’t destroy it! I want to keep it!”

Carol was taken aback by this. Her previous excitement vanished, and the crocheting session ended.

Her reaction made me wonder if I was being silly. I wondered if I should go along with the destruction to please her.

But I’ve always been stubborn. I said nothing further and kept the strip of woven yarn.

And I kept it for years. In fact, if it hadn’t been for our apartment fire three years ago, I’d still have it, 20 years after disingenuously crocheting it.

Sometimes I wonder if that fire was meant to show me that I hang on too much.

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"It didn’t look this big in the store"

Well, we did it.

(And we still have no intention of getting cable!)

Had to rearrange some things.


The office is now old school.


I didn’t want to put the bar table there, but it actually doesn’t look bad. I like that I can display my cookbooks…maybe it’ll inspire me to use them.


The large chair is where the bar table once was, as is one of the bar stools.


The media cabinets are where the chair used to be, to make room.

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Blackface

Today I learned, via Japundit, about a new comedy whose plot involves a movie being filmed about the Vietnam War. Robert Downey, Jr. is playing a actor who has taken a role originally written for a black man. Rather than having the role rewritten, his character, one of a group of very pompous actors, is playing it black.

when did Ben Stiller get ripped?

Given my previous discussions of race issues, you might expect me to be upset about this. I kind of expected me to be upset about this. But this is actually pretty awesome, for two reasons.

1) It’s hilarious. I mean, this has got to be one seriously self-involved character, to think he can “play” another race. I’m pretty excited to see what kind of jokes come out of it. Done well, this could be truly effective modern satire.

2) Look at this:

side by side comparison

I think this is pretty successful. And I don’t think the message is that it’s easy to make a white person look like a black person. I think the message is that we don’t really look that different.

Hair, eyes, skin color, size…those can all vary. But at the core, we’re all human beings. We’re made of the same stuff, just in a thousand beautiful variations.

I think that’s a very positive message.

Images courtesy Daily Mail

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Well, if you demand it…

Just got spam that included this paragraph:

We demand that you take time out of your online experience and renew your records to avoid running into any future problems with the online service. However, failure to renew your recoreds will result in our account suspension.Once you have renewed your account records your internet banking service will not be interrupted and will continue as normal.Please click on log button below.

Um…no. Thanks though!

(Take time out of my online experience…*snerk*)

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Don’t dress up like Elvis in Nicholasville

Or at least, not in court:

‘Elvis’ shows up at Kentucky court drunk

NICHOLASVILLE, Ky. – A central Kentucky judge had a suspicious mind when an Elvis Presley impersonator showed up for court apparently drunk and sporting sunglasses and a rhinestone-studded shirt with a scarf draped around his neck.

County Attorney Brian Goettl said that as a result, the judge had David Blaisdell, 64, tested for intoxication and sentenced him to three days in jail for contempt of court when it was determined that the man’s blood-alcohol level was nearly twice that at which a person in Kentucky is considered legally drunk.

Blaisdell, who was in court for a pretrial conference on misdemeanor charges of stalking and violating a protective order, told the judge he had had a few drinks the night before, Goettl said.

Good to know those drunk Elvis impersonators aren’t getting off easy in the ol’ hometown! ;)

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Final office layout

Here it is: the second best possible configuration for my office. (I can’t do the first best configuration because the cables and internet jacks are all on the wrong side of the room.)


The floor plan.


View from the door leading to the north side of the building. Speaking of wires…I’m thinking of covering them with a curtain.


My workspace.


View from the door leading to the south side of the building.


View from that same door, looking straight over my desk.


View from the north side door again.

So far I really like the new layout. People have plenty of room to walk, and I don’t have people coming up behind me all the time. I think this’ll work!

Previously: Office Evolution

Even More Previously: Transition and What can I say, I like moving furniture.

Edit: Added floor plan and captions.