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Diary Health

CHF Recovery: Day 35

This is the update for October 18, 2016.

I don’t know if I will remember everything correctly because I had a panic attack, and that kind of threw me off for the whole day.

I think I had only ever had a panic attack once before? If it was even a panic attack. That’s what Sean said it was, anyway, when I was gasping for breath and sobbing and listing all the things I was worrying about. He pulled me away from the mess on my desk and had me lie down until I could breathe normally. I didn’t completely calm down until he went to make me lunch, because eating (meal planning) was one of the things I was worried about :P

After I calmed down I watched 30 Rock for awhile before finally getting back on my computer. I didn’t really accomplish anything yesterday, so I won’t use the ta-da tag.

Here’s a rough timeline of events:

  • Awakened at 10:30 by a phone call I missed
  • Got up, had protein shake, took meds
  • Returned the call; the conversation was upsetting (nobody is hurt and there’s no change in my health status, it’s just paperwork-type stuff relating to me)
  • Started trying to address the action items from the call as well as other items related to the same subject
  • Became overwhelmed and had the panic attack
  • Spent some time recovering in bed
  • Went back to my desk and sorted all the clutter to sort of clear my mind
  • Went to the couch to watch TV
  • Ate a lunch of a yogurt and a tuna fish sandwich carefully made with measured ingredients, put together for me by Sean
  • Eventually went back to my desk but didn’t really do much the rest of the day besides read stuff and chat
  • Took shower with Sean
  • Went out for sushi with Sean
  • Had Swiss Rolls at home
  • Went to bed earlier than usual, at 11:30

Being with Sean was nice and he was very sweet to me. It made me wistful for reasons I don’t really want to get into.