Ben Franklin’s perversion

This is a dream I had just before waking up this morning, but I thought I’d write it as a narrative and give the characters names.

Cherry was mumbling something as we stepped into the room. She always seemed to say something when we did a time slip. I never could make it out. The first part sounded like random letters and numbers. The last part was definitely a phrase. It sounded like the last word was “day”.

I could ask her about it later. The most important thing was the box.

The room was a comfortable study. Brass chair rail ringed the richly stained wood walls, ending at an expansive stone fireplace. On the right of the entryway was a cluster of small plants done up in red bows and Christmas lights. I made for the rolltop desk just beyond that. The object I was after sat innocently atop a mess of papers, as if it were being used as an oversized paperweight. I picked up the box gingerly and sat down on the floor near the fireplace to examine it.

It was about the size of a cigar box, but it was heavy and made of cherry wood and brass. The box was plain, unmarked save for some small brass tacking. I flipped open the lid and let it fall back and hang on the thin chains that secured it.

Cherry had been surveying the room, but now came to crouch beside me and peer over my shoulder.

“Tools and surgical implements,” I pointed out, running my forefinger along the row of silver screwdrivers and scalpels. “But what are they for?”

“Seems weird to have them together like that,” Cherry agreed. After a moment of staring into the velvet-lined case, she straightened and stepped further into Franklin’s office. “Maybe there’s something else here we can learn from.”

As she started rummaging through a bookshelf, I decided to disassemble the carefully-arranged box to see if that would help. I’d started gathering up the tools when I noticed the odd way the velvet gathered at the edges of the box. “Hmm,” I said aloud, cocking my head to one side and frowning. “I wonder…”

I picked up one of the flathead screwdriver tips and wedged it between the velvet and the box. A little leverage, and the fabric started to rise. It was apparently tacked to cardboard. “Look, this is a tray,” I said excitedly. “It lifts out.”

I felt Cherry step back in my direction, but I was intent on the box as I pulled the tray of tools up and out and set it aside.

“Whoa.”

Jackpot.

“Here’s a bag of transistors,” I said. “There’s some wiring. But what’s this?”

I picked something out of the box that was about the size of a coin, with a yellow, rusty looking wedge jutting from a silver root. “A root?” I asked aloud. “This is…”

“A tooth,” Cherry breathed.

We both knew the implications of what we’d found. But there was no time to discuss them. Our window was closing.

I quickly reassembled the box and set it back on the desk. Moments later, we felt time slip away…

I blinked and looked around. We had time-slipped, hadn’t we? But we were back in the study.

Cherry looked at me curiously. “Why are we back here?”

“I don’t know,” I was saying, when suddenly we arrived. Or rather, the us who had been there before. We were standing by the fireplace; Us’ abruptly appeared in the doorway.

“Roman!” Cherry hissed, grabbing my arm.

“Why are we here again?” I whispered frantically.

Me’ came striding in, intent on the box. I gaped at him for a moment as he turned his back to us, giving me a rare view of the back of my own head. I considered idly that my auburn hair was getting a little shaggy, and boy was it ever curly in the back.

“Everything’s the same,” Me’ informed Cherry’, glancing around at her. “…wait. Where’s the wallscreen?”

In my shock at reappearing where we’d just left I hadn’t noticed. I glanced over my shoulder. “He’s right,” I told Cherry. When we’d first arrived there had been a flat panel screen above the fireplace. “It’s gone.”

Turning back towards our dopplegangers, I saw that Cherry’ was looking at the Christmas decorations. I abruptly noticed they were different as well. This time there were no bows, and the plants were much smaller.

“What’s going on?” both Cherrys said at once.

“Oh, wait, I forgot to say my stuff,” Cherry’ cried, and then she was rattling off a long list of nonsensical letters and numbers. I was hearing the code, the thing she was always muttering, clearly for the first time. Not that it made any sense. “And let the other guys be gay,” she finished.

I blinked. “What the heck does that mean?”

“Oh,” Cherry’ said, “that’s just so I don’t fall in love with anyone while I’m traveling and neglect to do my duty.”

I wheeled on Cherry, who had turned bright pink. “They shouldn’t be able to see us, should they?”

“Why wouldn’t we be able to see you?” asked Me’ calmly, lifting the tray of tools from the box and examining the cyborg oddments beneath.

“Because,” I spluttered, “Paradox Theory…”

They weren’t us.

They looked like us. They were even wearing the same clothes. Cherry’ had on that dress Cherry loves, the one that comes to just above the knee, with the marbled red and black pattern. And she was wearing Cherry’s trademark knee-high leather boots, with the platforms and five-inch heels. And Me’ was in the same suit I was wearing, tuxedo-style but dark purple, with copper buttons and a pocket watch chain visible upon one breast.

I had assumed because they looked like us, they sounded like us, and they were here just as we had been, that they were us. But…

“That’s ridiculous,” Me’ responded. “Paradox Theory doesn’t have anything to do with dimensional slips.”

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NaNoWriMo?

The other day Hai asked me if I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year.

“Hadn’t even thought about it,” I responded.

Hai’s first response was an emoticon: =O

Then, “Don’t you do it every year?” he asked.

“No,” I responded. “I think I tried once or twice.”

It was twice. The first time, in 2004, I actually did pretty well, writing at least one scene every day for the first third of the month. Then the story sort of fizzled out and died. I couldn’t figure out where to go next, so I gave up. The second time was right after the fire in 2005. While the idea I had was actually pretty interesting, and I still think about it now and then, I was too emotionally drained from losing everything and trying to deal with living with the in-laws to write.

I was cavalier about the topic with Hai, partly because I was busy at the time we were talking, but also because it hurts to think about how writing has been gradually disappearing from my life. Ever since I left school, then the AMRN, I’ve had less and less drive to write creatively. No deadlines, no one to read and review. No expectations. And now even my blog has dried up–Twitter allows me to be lazy and not craft long pieces anymore.

I’ve talked about giving up writing before, but the truth is I don’t really want to. It would be a waste. I don’t want to be the personification of lost opportunity. There are so many things I’m good at, but I don’t work nearly hard enough to hone any of my skills. It both feeds and is fed by my lack of direction: I can’t pick one, so I don’t do any of them.

It has to stop. I need a kick in the pants.

Maybe NaNoWriMo would be a good start.

I’ve been thinking about a story involving my two favorite AMRN characters, Celia Mazarin and Natalie “Byron” Ryan. Originally I’d planned to make it a webcomic, but I’ve always written in story form. If I could just finish the story, I could always reimagine it as a comic later.

NaNoWriMo begins one week from today.

I think I’ll do it.

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Kyou Kara Maou 90

Plenty of spoilers in this post. You’ve been warned.

We’re well into the sword-stealing plot now. Yuuri and his retainers (minus Gwendal, Gunter, and Murata) are in Caloria for a celebration for the defeat of Soushu. They run into Alford, who has a unique sword in his possession along with the holy sword. Janus (I’ll just go with that spelling for now) shows up with a huge monster and demands they hand those swords and Morgif over…or he’ll start destroying Caloria!

Yuuri makes what to him is an easy choice: hand over the swords. He makes this decision not only for himself, but for Al, who reluctantly agrees. After the swords are taken–just like that!–the monster and Janus disappear; they had simply been an illusion.

"That enemy of ours sure knows how to trick us. " By "us" he probably means "Yuuri"

"WTF?"

“It couldn’t be helped,” Al says. “You didn’t make the wrong choice, Yuuri.”

But I’m not sure if I agree with that sentiment!

You can always argue that hindsight is 20/20, and it really does seem like the most noble thing to do to try and save the people of Caloria. But you have to remember that this isn’t just a matter of giving up their personal swords. The three swords the White Ravens wanted aren’t just any swords. Al’s has holy power, Morgif obviously has demon power, and the third, rusty sword has some as-yet-unexplained effect on people with maryoku (and probably other powers). You have to weigh the dangers. Is it more dangerous to let a monster rampage a city-state, or to let an amoral group have three ridiculously powerful magical items?

To be fair, the person who should have spoken up–Flynn–did not. I can’t imagine Conrad or Josak recommending against saving people, even though Josak seemed to have the whole deal figured out from the beginning. Wolfram’s the logical one to do it, but Yuuri rarely listens to Wolfram’s advice even if he had said something. The person who speaks for Caloria should have protested on behalf of her people. That she didn’t either means she didn’t understand the enormity of the situation, or she’s still “following” Yuuri, even though he told her he doesn’t want to be followed.

Come to think of it, I’m not sure if Flynn has ever gone against what Yuuri said since the box incident.

It would be hard for a leader to argue for the possible destruction of her country and deaths of some of her people. But I feel that if she’d looked at the situation objectively, she would see that this decision could have repercussions not just in Caloria, but across the entire world.

Someone should have been there to point that out. But no one was. Murata was either back at Shinou’s temple or on Earth. Gwendal was at the castle. And no one else stepped up.

I guess what’s strange to me about this is that everyone just did what Yuuri said without protesting much at all. In the past, they’d challenge him, make sure he was looking at all sides of the issue. He’d usually go ahead and make the exact same decision, but at least I felt comfortable that he knew what he was doing. Not so in this episode.

Another thing that seemed to be curiously lacking was the strategy behind the scenes. Typically when Yuuri makes decisions with big consequences, his retainers have a plan to bail him out. Maybe this plan exists and it’ll be revealed in the next episode. I sure didn’t see a hint of it in this one. “Let’s go get our swords back” isn’t much of a strategy.

Here’s hoping there’s a purpose to all this. I’ve been feeling somewhat weird about the general conceits of the show all throughout the third season. It seems to me like Yuuri’s standard decision-making is being demonstrated time and time again to be flawed. I don’t know if that’s on purpose, and if Yuuri is going to grow, or what.

On the one hand, I don’t want Yuuri to lose his drive to protect. But on the other, I wish he would temper that with a little more common sense. Now that he’s been in this world awhile, he can start making judgments based on his knowledge of its rules, rather than Earth’s. It should get to a point where he can start thinking of the consequences, instead of having them pointed out to him by someone else.

* * *

Random shot of Sara from the end of the episode! What can I say, I like him.

Hey look, it's Sara

Hard

From Marie’s blog:

I tend to think it’ll be a while before we move on from this whole fascination with stolen-identity and exposing-ourselves-in-ways-that-make-us-think-we-are-being-authentic. It’s just too tempting, too easy to follow the facile path and to engage yourself in a meaningful, and private endeavor is, well, hard.

Ouch.

How about this copy?

Was a group of Muslim women clutching briefcases and text messaging during films were spotted making a terrorist attack “dry run” in a theater?

-the RSS summary for this Snopes article

and

The 65-pound dog survived a six story leap from a Tampa airport parking garage and lived.

-the first paragraph of this AP article

Nice.

(It happens to all of us…especially during breaking news!)

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Bodycount

I borrowed the four-issue TMNT Bodycount series from a guy at work a few weeks ago, and just got around to reading it today.

Was there a point to this?

It seems like creators think they have to legitimize things they enjoyed when they were younger by making them “dark”. Why do they feel this is necessary?

Then again, I guess the turtles started out “dark”. But this is “dark” for the sake of “dark”. There’s no reason for it other than to make the turtles more badass, to distance them from the cartoon.

The only character development we got was in book 4 when Raphael sees Casey get shot and suddenly doesn’t think guns are quite so cool. But even then he doesn’t really seem to be in character–he starts crying immediately, for example. I don’t think Raph is all talk; I don’t think he’s the type to bawl like that. Regardless of the fact that he’s a teenager.

The series is supposed to be funny, in a macabre way, and it’s full of homages to Hong Kong action flicks, but ultimately there was nothing there that moved me. Did I expect more out of it than I should have?

Final thought: for a story about a ninja turtle, Raph didn’t get as much face-time as I would have expected. But I guess that’s a good thing, because the artist sure made everybody ugly.

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I found a new blog

Damon Cline writes a blog called Scuttlebiz about area businesses and the economy and such for the Augusta Chronicle. He usually focuses on one story and then ends the post with a few nuggets. This cracked me up:

I’ll bet my left index finger (you can’t have the right; it’s my trigger finger) that Loco’s Grill and Pub, the casual dining chain that closed last week after two years in operation, will be converted into Augusta’s 213th Mexican restaurant. Mexican is the new Chinese.

Maybe you have to be a local to realize that this is hilarious because it’s true? When Mom visited I took her to Acapulco’s, the restaurant that replaced Fazoli’s on Washington Road. They had a few microwaved Italian and “American” options, and were otherwise very much a Mexican restaurant, down to the free chips and salsa.

Damon’s sharp and funny and seems to know his Augusta. Blogrolled!

(Edit: Apparently Acapulco’s has closed, after about a two month run. Heh.)

Why does everyone love Lana?

Okay, so she has some “exotic” looks (for much of the US, anyway), but she’s not particularly bright, whenever she’s said “leave it to me” she’s ended up failing, she passes out all the time, she makes decisions based on pride…no matter how much she wants to claim that she’s not a prize or a trophy, that’s really all she is. Her personality sucks, and she’ll completely turn her back on her friends rather than admit she could be wrong, and it’s okay because everyone inexplicably loves her anyway.

Also, she lives in Kansas and somehow doesn’t know the proper way to react to a tornado? :>

Also, she’ll choose to be with someone on the rebound, and then marry them within a year. What’s the rush, toots? Afraid you’ll be an old maid if you aren’t married before 20?

I also hate it when she tries to be a badass, because she totally sucks at it. It’s like she’s trying to grow up, but instead of just, you know, maturing, she decides to play all these games. But in the end, her games are pointless, and she’s still the scared wide-eyed little girl who gets victimized every week.

I don’t know if all of this is supposed to prove that she’s inferior to Lois, but if it is, producers, you can stop now. It’s been proven, time and again, since season 1.

Can you let her be a real character now? After all, there’s got to be some reason Pete ends up marrying her. (Man, I bet dinners at the White House with President Lex are awkward…)

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Sclaundres

It always takes me awhile to get through one of Geoffrey Chaucer’s posts, because, you know, I don’t speak Old English, generally. So when I saw he had a new post up I refrained from reading it, saving it until I had the time to really hunker down.

Today, however, I accidentally loaded the post. As I was going for Bloglines’ “keep as new” button, I glanced down to what seemed from the fact that it was all uppercase to be a particularly emotional sentence…and I saw:

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY!

Yes. Yes! Chaucer, I love you.

(And I admit it: I love Chris Crocker, too. That video has brought such delight to my life. After all she’s been through!)

Never mind

So I got involved writing a critique of a poem Jered wrote (actually I gave him the poem as a “homework assignment”), and now the sun’s like way up and I’m sure it’s hot as hell out there. I think what I’m going to do is just stay in, work on lunches and dinner, maybe watch some anime, and try to go over to the Y on my lunch break. ;P

Tonight’s going to be interesting; I’m supposed to do some work for my regular job at around 11:30pm. This will happen every Friday for the rest of the football season. Originally it wasn’t going to be me doing it, but I’m a control freak and ended up volunteering, since it involves using my work computer.

Normally, of course, I would be asleep at that time. So we’ll see how this goes!

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One of the best paragraphs ever

Dropping something may have saved Joy Horton’s life. The 73-year-old woman was preparing some food in her western New York home on Monday morning when she dropped a spoon on the floor of her kitchen. When she bent down, her house exploded.

If you’re curious about why this happened, you’ll be disappointed, as they’re still looking into it. But here’s the rest of the story anyway.

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Fabulous Deathly Hallows spoof

Snape: Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, and tell you how I became the half-blood Prince of a school called H-warts. In Spinner’s End born and raised, in the playground is where I spent most of my days, chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ out cool, shootin’ some quaffles outside of the school.

This and much more awaits in this parody of the final Harry Potter book. Those of you who have finished reading, check it out! It’s a hoot.

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ReBoot rebooted

So, you may have heard that one of my all-time favorite TV shows is supposed to make a comeback. A publisher I’ve never heard of called Zeros 2 Heroes is apparently taking over the franchise. (Edit: Actually, Zeros 2 Heroes is a “social media company” that is handling the community part and possibly the webcomic part of the new effort; the actual production company is Rainmaker Animation, which apparently bought out Mainframe Entertainment.) Five different groups have presented concepts on their website, and fans are rating and commenting on them.

I looked them over and wasn’t very happy, but I didn’t expect to be. Maybe a cool show will come out of all of this, but it’s not going to be the ReBoot I fell in love with. Hell, season 4 wasn’t, either. In seasons 1 and 2, Bob was Han Solo, perfectly willing to delete Megabyte if he got the chance, but in season 4, suddenly Greedo shot first. (And Dot had apparently lost her mind.)

Some of the new incarnations don’t bother to give us our old characters, or when they do, it’s in a vague, “in the past” kind of way. The ones that do “continue” the story completely destroy the characters…Bob becomes a big bruiser in one of them, and Mad Max in another. Isn’t this what games are for? And also, it’s been done. Even if we ignore season 4 hippie Bob, I can’t see Guardian 452 turning into a musclehead. It’s just not…him.

In one incarnation, Dot is actually described as “just a girl”. What? In another, somehow she is married to Megabyte and the mother of a child with two fathers. What?

After season 4, I’ve had about enough of Dot getting the shaft, thanks. I’d like to see her kick some ass, like she did in the first three seasons.

There is no way Dot would ever think of herself as “just a girl”, and there is no way she would knowingly and willingly marry Megabyte, regardless of whether or not she had “code growing inside her”. (Bleh.)

Matrix and AndrAIa, who probably fit these new “hardcore” (snerk) concepts better than our original cast, are curiously absent, though one of the concept creators promised they’d show up later.

In most of these stories, Mainframe has been destroyed. In some of them, the city doesn’t even appear at all. Mainframe is kind of like one of the main characters of the original show, and the search for it was the entire point of season 3. Plus, Mainframe is awesome. Why would you ever get rid of it?

And then, oh and then, there’s the art. All but one of the designs goes completely off from the look of the original show. Honestly? I don’t think the show needed an updated look. Smoother animation, better textures, maybe. But it doesn’t have to look world-realistic…it’s happening inside a computer. I think season 3 was as far as they should have gone with tweaking the look. Season 4 crossed the line–somehow, the characters looked like action figures who didn’t quite seem to be placed properly in the scene, like they were filmed on a green screen. Now these new concepts are telling me that my beloved characters won’t even look like themselves.

What reason do I have to watch this new incarnation, really? I can’t seem to find one.

I think I will just have to write this off. And while I’m at it, I’ll write off season 4, too. Season 3 had a perfectly good ending. Sure, they didn’t beat Daemon, nor did they meet “the User”, but they saved Mainframe and they were all reunited. It ended with a sense of hope. I’d rather leave ReBoot there than with all these new, “darc” incarnations–season 4 included.