life – Page 22 – p i x e l s c r i b b l e s

Diving back in

Getting back to work yesterday was such a relief. I’m tired of seeing my previous, whiny post about how illness ruins my life, so I figured I’d write a short post about how much I got accomplished yesterday.

As I Twittered, things didn’t go perfectly smoothly without me. There are things only I know how to do, things I’ve told people how to do but they’re a little rough at it, and things I’ve trained people on but I’m just better at doing. I had a little bit of catch-up work to do to get things up to my level. I know I sound egotistical, but I’d like to think that everyone sets standards for their work and then tries to meet them, and you wouldn’t think that way necessarily when you’re filling in for someone else’s job–so see, it’s just realism, not egotism.

Regardless, I got the site to where I wanted it to be, and then did some work I’d been putting off due to other projects, and then did what I call my TPS reports (they actually do serve a purpose, but they are so boring). At some point I took a 45 minute lunch break and went to Wendy’s with Elgin and Fichtel, which was cool. I did not have a Frosty, shockingly, but alas, I did have fries. Back at work, I handled an ad issue for sales, made two calls on another ad issue for sales (but no answer), and then dove into a design project I volunteered for last week. I had received an email from the printing company that they needed the artwork ASAP. The files I was working with were huge, so I literally could not have any programs open but Photoshop while working on them, so I had to work it in during a non-busy time. Fortunately I was able to do so yesterday, and I got the design done! Now I just have to hope it’s acceptable for printing…it has a lot of color and I’m not sure what that might do to the price.

Then I did my usual evening tasks–my job ramps up during the last two hours due to the evening newscasts. I ended up staying a little late, but since I don’t have any sick hours left and I missed two and a half days this week I guess that’s a good thing ;P

Now it’s Friday, the last day before my vacation. I’ll finish up my TPS reports today, work on uploading some video to various places, make sure that project is acceptable for the printer, and do my regular tasks. I also have a doctor’s appointment this morning and a salon appointment this afternoon, and I’m supposed to take pictures of the weekend talent at some point.

Ah, what a life I lead :)

I’m getting tired of this ;P

I got a fever late Saturday night, and it kept coming back throughout Sunday and Monday. I took Tylenol Cold whenever it got too bad–i.e., I was freezing to death–and otherwise just tried to rest and drink juice. This morning I had a bit of a fever so I called my GP’s office for an appointment to see what he thought. He only had an afternoon appointment available, so I took that and then went to work.

I got caught up on a few things and realized the breadth of work that is still to be done, then headed over to see Dr. B. I told him my symptoms–neck pain, slight sore throat, occasional cough, throat and nasal congestion, fever–and that I had been sick like this a couple weeks ago.

He surmised that I have just had two different viruses back to back, but he took a throat culture and prescribed Penicillin just in case I have strep throat.

As we were walking out of the exam room, he asked, “Do you need a work excuse?”

“For yesterday?” I asked. “I’m working today.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he replied.

“…well, then, yes, I need an excuse.”

And he wrote me a note that says I can’t go back to work until Thursday.

Seriously. I have been out of sick days forever, and I have work that needs to get done, and I don’t know how I can expect to be regarded as a professional if I’m out sick every couple of weeks! This is really frustrating.

I went to Walgreens to fill the prescription, and I picked up some hand sanitizer and Lysol disinfectant spray. I’m going to try to be ridiculous about cleanliness from now on. I’m also thinking I’d like to see what sorts of HEPA room filters are available on the market and if I could afford one, or preferably two: one for home and one for work. That might not be possible given all the other medical bills (another reason I’d like to be able to work!), but it’s definitely worth looking into at least.

Bah!

I apparently can’t live without Twitter

If I could have been Twittering this morning, you would know that I am home sick from work today, that I’m watching Lois & Clark season 3, that I’m drinking V8 fruit juice, and that I need to get over to the mailbox soon, if I can. I might have added other notes, like the fact that The Abominable Charles Christopher is back up, and that I’ve added it (and other comics) to my webcomics list on the sidebar.

But there was no Twitter this morning, and yea, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth all ‘cross the intarweb.

Fortunately, it’s back now–so all of you who live to read the minutiae of my life, rejoice.

Sleep study #2

After my first sleep study back in October, it was determined that I have moderate sleep apnea. I was seen by a sleep specialist and the ear nose and throat doctor again, and then I was sent back to the sleep study place to be fitted for a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine. With sleep apnea, you stop breathing while sleeping because your airway collapses. A CPAP forces air into your nose, helping you to breathe properly.

Coincidentally, I ended up with the same sleep study technician as last time, Chris, and had my study in the same room.

I had to wait for some time as Chris set up the patient next door, a small baby. Fortunately, this time I’d brought my laptop and box set of Initial D, so I got ready for bed and then watched several episodes. There was a hospital wireless network available, but it was unsecured so I decided not to get online.

Finally Chris arrived to wire me up. This time I was able to get a picture before he put the hair net on:

Chris was just as talkative as last time, but I was pretty tired, so I wasn’t as involved in the conversation as I might have been.

In the middle of getting me set up, Chris had to leave the room to get a humidifier for the CPAP, and while I waited for him to get back I drew a picture of Batman on the markerboard door of the closet.

Finally it was time to sleep. I got into place and Chris helped me put on the face mask. It only covers the nose. There’s a bunch of soft padding on it so it’s comfortable, and there’s a piece of plastic that connects to a padded bar that goes on your forehead, to add stability. That whole unit is then strapped to your head with adjustable fabric belts, which you can slip off of hooks if you need to remove the mask quickly.

It was weird after it was on and Chris first started the flow of air. My first instinct was to rip the mask off, as if I was being suffocated. But I forced myself to breathe the air that was blowing into the mask.

Then Chris asked me a question, and let me tell you, it is very weird to try to talk only to hear a weird raspy sound and feel a torrent of air blowing out of your mouth.

“Did I ask you the question because I wanted to know the answer, or because I wanted to hear you do that?” Chris asked. Hmm, let’s all think about that! ;>

We got the mask settled in on my face and I got comfy for the night.

I have a love-hate relationship with this photo (which Chris kindly took for me). Obviously, I wouldn’t send this out with my Christmas cards. I mean, it’s just not flattering. But at the same time, it’s so perfectly representative of what it’s like to be wired up for a sleep study.

It doesn’t look comfortable, does it? But remarkably, my biggest complaint about the situation would have to be that the pillow didn’t provide proper neck support. I’m spoiled by Tempur-Pedic. And that’s it!

The mask didn’t really bother me while I was asleep. When I first started trying to go to sleep I wondered if I would wake up, forget about the mask, discover it, and freak out. But that didn’t happen. I vaguely recall the mask moving off my nose slightly, and moving it back myself, and I also vaguely pulling the mask off as best I could, only to have Chris come fix it, but I wasn’t particularly distressed by any of these events.

I slept very soundly, and I was very unhappy when Chris woke me around 7.

The exit questions were the same, but my answers were really different. Can you remember any dreams? No, not at all. How long were you asleep? I have no idea. What time is it right now? No clue. What time did you go to sleep? Um. It’s kind of scary that my answers were so precise before, and this time…nothing. Does this mean that I was so asleep that my internal body clock took the night off? And am I not going to have dreams anymore? Because I’ll miss those :>

It took awhile for me to feel like I was awake after that. Chris told me that around the middle part of the day I’d realize that I felt refreshed, but I wasn’t sure about that. I did, thankfully, wake up enough that I felt comfortable driving home.

When I got here I had planned on going straight to bed, but it turned out that we forgot to pay the rent, so I relaxed a little with the intention of going and doing that, and I ended up watching more Initial D and running that errand and just staying awake.

Until, abruptly, I fell asleep on the couch.

The nap was somewhat restful, but not ideal. I kept waking up and hearing the DVD menu music and thinking that I should turn it off, and then falling back asleep. But afterwards I at least felt like I could make it through the rest of the day.

I think what happened is that I actually did get some restful sleep, and when it stopped prematurely my body was very unhappy about it.

I originally thought wearing a face mask was going to be a colossal pain, but now I’m excited to see what will happen when I have my own CPAP. It’ll be cool to see if I actually do feel more rested in the daytime, and have more energy to do things. I would love to start being active again.

I’m not actually sure when all this will happen, though. I think I’m going to get the prescription in three weeks when I go back to the ENT.

Move faster, time!

A fabulous find

I went downtown today to see if I could find some interesting chairs in any of the antique stores. I thought maybe there was a remote chance someone had gotten rid of a plain chair that would suit my needs. The idea of having a set of mismatched chairs that all share a few main features is appealing.

I parked in front of Merry’s Trash and Treasures, which is the biggest antique store in the universe. Well, maybe not, but they have like three storefronts…and when you go inside, the furniture is literally stacked to the ceiling.

With a selection like that, you’d think I might have come across something…but Merry’s stock runs more along the vintage American kind of furniture. I didn’t see anything that might have been brought over from China or Japan or inspired by those countries. All the wood had a natural finish, too, except for one old farmhouse set–so no black, which is what I need to match my table.

Also, you’d be hard-pressed to find anything in Merry’s that doesn’t cost $300 or more. I discovered this years ago, but somehow I had forgotten.

Unsure of my chances of finding anything at an antique store now that I’d seen Merry’s selection, I went next door to The Marketplace, which is run like a flea market; different vendors run different sections of the store. This place does not deal in very much furniture, but they have all those neat knickknacks and books and cooking utensils that you expect in a second-hand shop. I stayed because I love looking at vintage curios, and I figured that if I found something I used to own or something that reminded me of my childhood, I wouldn’t have a problem picking it up.

I had fun scouring the shelves. I came across some Charlie Brown and the Chipmunks glassware that we used to have when I was a kid, and there was some nice milk glass too. Nothing really stuck out to me, though, until I was heading back along the opposite wall and came across a beautiful set of Noritake china.

The dishes were trimmed in gold, and at the center of each was a cluster of blue flowers. I examined the set. Apparently it had once been a service for 12, but some dishes and saucers had been broken along the way, so that it was now a service for 10. One dish was chipped, and the floral design had worn away on several pieces. Still, it was in fairly decent condition, and the price was reasonable. I decided to think about it, and moved on.

After happily coming across a copy of The Truce at Bakura, my favorite SWEU novel, in the adjacent stall, I moved forward and found a lovely Queen Anne table…laid out with another gorgeous set of Noritake china. This was a service for eight, in perfect condition, and none of the pieces were missing. They were trimmed in silver and the design was pink flowers.

I was already sold on the set, but I moved on anyway, went upstairs, scanned other items. However much I tried, though, I couldn’t concentrate, and it wasn’t long before I was hurrying back downstairs to snag the set before someone else saw it.

Here it is:

Oh, I love them so! I really hated the thought of serving a special dinner on the plates we use every day. They’re good plates, but they are old and worn and you can tell. I’m so excited to have something so beautiful for special occasions, and to have found the set at such a great price.

As you can see, my table is ready for Thanksgiving. All I need now are chairs!

The search for chairs

As you may know, while Mom was here I purchased a beautiful Nigoshi table from Sears. It’s a black table in an “Asian” design, and I love it. Unfortunately, I didn’t love the chairs meant to go with the set, so I didn’t buy those. Since then, I’ve been hunting for just the right chairs.

It’s harder than I thought to find chairs with a black finish, let alone chairs in a plain or (heaven forbid) Asian style. I thought I had found a decent chair at Target, but last night I decided to check some furniture stores just in case.

First I went to Ashley Furniture HomeStore in the Augusta Exchange. This was the only chair I found that was close to what I want:

The chair was comfortable. I know Sean would approve of the padded seat, but I personally would prefer a hard chair that you can add a cushion to if you so desire. The back of the chair is problematic because it’s not quite right, style-wise. My bistro table has stools with skinny, straight lines across the seats, and so if I’m going to have parallel lines, I’d like them to sort of match. However, I’m open to chairs with a rectangular cross-slat pattern, because that simulates the look of shoji screens. These chairs have a big panel in the center of the back which doesn’t really do it for me.

Next I went to Haverty’s. This was their only selection in black. They actually had the shoji-style I’m interested in, but only in “chocolate”, which is not black!

This has the parallel lines, and not too thick, but it has a cross-bar up top, and while this sort of does the shoji thing, it’s not consistent across the entire chair. Still, I really liked how these chairs felt to sit in. They are also available in end chairs with arms, which are comfy as well.

I decided to check the mall next. They used to have a Macy’s furniture store at one end. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to have it anymore! I walked the entire length of the old mall and didn’t find any stores with furniture. At that point I was too tired to worry about looking at all the new mall stores that opened recently…I want to really take my time in exploring them, anyway, especially the Williams-Sonoma. So I hopped in my car and headed out.

Since I was already on Wrightsboro Road, I stopped in at Rooms to Go…but they had nothing. Nothing! At this point I was pretty disappointed that I had only found two candidates, and neither of them was exactly what I wanted.

After that I went to Target to look at my original choice again…and I was shocked to discover that not only were they more expensive than the chairs at the furniture stores, but they were of weaker construction! So…never mind, Target.

Right now I’m leaning towards the Haverty’s chairs. I like how they feel to sit in, the design is pretty close to what I want, and I like the end chairs with the arms. But I’m still weighing my options.

And that is why I went to the antique store today, though I ended up buying something completely different…

Worries

I had a couple of bad dreams last night. Nothing horrific, just stuff that I wouldn’t want to have happen.

In the first one Sean and I were having a home built, and we hadn’t heard anything about it for awhile so we went to check it out, and we discovered that 1) they were building the wrong floor plan and 2) a bank now owned it, and if we wanted to get it back we would have to take out another loan. So we could forget about moving into the house, but still have to pay on our original loan for it, or we could move into a house we didn’t want and pay double.

In the second dream I went to the doctor for some procedure that had apparently become routine. They gave me a drug by IV and then (inexplicably) started shampooing my hair. But then they got all worried; apparently the drug had made my heart rate go way too high. I basically sat there wondering what was going to happen while doctors and nurses bustled around, coming in and out of the room. There really wasn’t an ending to that dream.

Today I have an appointment with my GP, Dr. B, although I’m not sure why. I will try to remember to take my calendar with me this time. I’m not seeing Dr. G again until the Monday after Thanksgiving.

If you’ve been watching my Twitter you may have noticed that I’ve been going through a lot of anxiety lately, over my job and my health. My boss has been really supportive during all this, and she talked me down from freakout mode the other day. I think I’m getting a better handle on things. I’m probably just overwhelmed by all the changes that are happening in my life–so much that is out of my control. I just need to create a plan so I can get done what I need to get done. Not just at work, but at home, too. I’ve not cooked anything this whole time; we’ve just been getting takeout. Bleh.

Well, maybe

Me (9:35:31 PM): I had the BEST curry at an Indian restaurant in Fukuoka
Me (9:35:51 PM): I guess I just need to go back there and get some more someday
Me (9:35:59 PM): because MY GOD MAN THAT WAS GOOD CURRY
Charles (9:36:40 PM): So, you liked it? ‘Cause I’m getting mixed signals here.
Me (9:36:58 PM): XD

Life expectancy: pretty much normal

I went to the cardiologist, Dr. G, today, and she upped my lisinopril and downed my furosemide and agreed that I seem to have lost all the fluid I had been retaining. She listened to my breathing and asked if I had been dizzy or lightheaded to the point of passing out lately (which I have not). Then she said that things seemed to be going really well for me.

Finally I asked her what the plan was in the long term. She said that in cases like mine, if the heart is going to recover, it usually happens within nine months, so around June we’ll do another echo to see if it has. If it hasn’t, at that point we’ll talk about whether or not I should have a defibrillator implanted to protect me against irregular heart rhythms, which can cause instant death. (Sorry, that was abrupt! But I guess the instant death would be, too. Heh.)

She said sometimes the heart recovers, and sometimes it doesn’t recover but the person feels better anyway, and from a quality of life standpoint those two things are essentially the same. In the second scenario you just have to take extra steps.

Then I asked her if my life expectancy would be affected by all this. She essentially said probably not. If my heart recovers in nine months, then I’ll just be normal. If it doesn’t, then all that will be different is that I will have a higher chance than most of the population of having those irregular heart rhythms.

So I should live into old age. This was nice to hear!

Dr. G also told me that exercise is very good for people with CHF, and I should do as much as I can. The things I should avoid are straining myself, like with heavy lifting or with overdoing the exercise, and getting pregnant (I think I can handle that ;P).

Basically, I got the impression that I should be careful, but not treat myself like an invalid. This makes me very pleased. It can be fun having people do things for me, but ultimately I like things done my way, and there isn’t always someone around to help me out. I’m glad to know that I can still do things myself. Not everything, of course, but more than I was thinking I could.

This past weekend I wanted to go to the Canal. I ended up not going, but I wish I had. Maybe next weekend. The issue will be how to get to the path; my regular parking area is way up on a hill, which I can probably get down but would be a pain to get back up. I haven’t walked up a flight of stairs in weeks so I’m not sure how much of a strain it would be. I could go to the other parking area, which is level with the Canal, but that side of town isn’t so great and I’m not sure I want to park my car there. Decisions, decisions.

In any case, I am going to live my life the best I can and do as much as I can, and take care of myself while I enjoy myself.

Lost in Augusta

I had pulled up to the light at the Wheeler Road exit from I-20 westbound and was enjoying the high 60s temperature and the breeze through my rolled-down window when the ladies in the SUV next to me called, “Ma’am?”

“Yeah?” I asked, turning down the volume on the Mega Man OC Remix I was listening to.

“Is Bobby Jones B up that way?” they said, pointing ahead.

“No, it was back there,” I replied, cocking a thumb behind me.

“Thought so,” one of them said ruefully. The light had changed by this time so we both started to pull forward.

“Oh,” I yelled belatedly, “you can get to Bobby Jones by going straight this way.” And I gestured down Wheeler Road, the way we were going.

We both made an effort to drive alongside each other as they yelled back, “This way?”

“Yeah, just keep going straight and you’ll come to it.”

Not long after that we got stopped at a light. “Is this taking us out of town?” one of them asked me.

“Well, no, it’s sort of going back into town.”

“We need to get out of town; we’re headed back to Jesup, Georgia,” one of the women said.

“Well, if you need Bobby Jones, it’s right up there,” I said, pointing again.

The light changed and we moved forward once again. I pulled away from them and was shortly making the turn towards my apartments.

“Good luck, ladies,” I said as their SUV disappeared from view.

Not freaking out (yet)

I’m searching “”congestive heart failure” “life expectancy”” on Google. So far I’m finding a bunch of articles that say life expectancy depends on the severity of the failure and that life expectancy is shortened. I’ve only found one article that actually gives numbers, and it was last updated in 2003, so I’m not sure how much it can be trusted.

I think the word a sympathetic news anchor reporting on these numbers would use is “sobering”.

Although many people with heart failure live for many years, up to 70% of people die of the disorder within 10 years. Life expectancy depends on how severe the heart failure is, whether its cause can be corrected, and which treatment is used. About half of people who have mild heart failure live at least 10 years, and about half of those who have severe heart failure live at least 2 years.

So, assuming this article is accurate, and assuming my heart failure is mild (which I think is a safe assumption given that I’m able to work), I still only have a 50/50 chance of living for just ten more years.

But I have to remind myself that four years have passed since this article was written. Maybe something is different now.

I will try not to freak out too much until I see my cardiologist next week and ask her about it.

However, if it turns out that not much has changed and I am not going to live much past a decade from now–if even that–then some things are going to have to change in my life. I won’t be able to put off all the stuff I want to do until later. And I won’t have to plan for retirement, either, which means I won’t have to feel guilty about spending the money. The first priority will be moving back to Kentucky, and after that, getting to England to see Brooke, and getting back to Japan.

And of course, I will do my best to live as long as possible, which means listening to my doctors and taking care of myself. I can’t eat like I’ve eaten my entire life anymore. I have to eat lean meats, vegetables, no fried food. No more desserts. A lot fewer starches/carbohydrates. Heart-healthy stuff. And I need to go ahead and get a treadmill because aerobic exercise is recommended, on days when I feel up to it.

I had a Slim-Fast for breakfast, a Chick-fil-A Cool Wrap with a fruit cup and Diet Dr Pepper for lunch, and a swordfish steak, baked potato, and steamed veggies for dinner, but while those were healthier options than my usual, I will need to move away from eating out as much as possible–it adds too much sodium.

There may be nothing to worry about; iVillage has a list of questions for CHF patients to ask their doctors, and one of them is “Is my heart failure likely to seriously affect my life expectancy?” which suggests that some heart failure might not (although maybe this question is there because it usually does, but I’m an optimist). But regardless of what I hear at the doctor’s, I am going to work to make these changes in my life so I can be healthier.

I just wanted to tell you…

…that today, it was cold enough to wear a sweater and use the heater in my car. I was so happy.

Hee

I walked into the kitchen, stared around blankly for a few seconds, and then said aloud, “I don’t keep my purse in the kitchen anymore. I need to remember that!”

As I stepped into the guest room, Sean called loudly, “Heather.”

He never calls me by my first name, just like I hardly ever call him “Sean”, so I paused for a moment to make sure I’d heard right.

“Yeah?” I said tentatively.

Deadpan, he informed me, “You don’t keep your purse in the kitchen anymore.”

This is how we get along ;> Sean seems to find me infinitely amusing. The other day I was looking at the kitchen floor and I said, “This floor never looks clean. I don’t think it is clean. I think it’s dirty!” And he could not stop laughing.

New furniture

While Mom was here I got a lot done that I’d been meaning to, including getting a dining room table and a reasonably-sized desk for the office/guest room. My wonderful mother assembled these pieces of furniture for me and she did an amazing job.

Here is my table, which is from the Sears Nigoshi collection:

And here’s my desk, which is by Sauder and which we found at Office Depot:

The long drawer on the desk is hanging open because a part was missing, but the company sent it to us for free and it should be here soon. I’ll take a new picture once I have it.

I am totally in love with all my new furniture. This plus the addition of my second DVD cabinet and the slight rearranging of the living room has made the apartment feel like a whole new place. I’m thrilled with how it all came out. It’s so nice to walk in and feel like I’m in a real home, instead of just a place with stuff thrown into it.

Ugh, again

Yesterday started out a lot better than it ended. Mom was set to leave, but she was still in town when I wanted to have lunch, so we met up at Mikoto. She tried and enjoyed katsudon and I had teriyaki beef and sashimi. We got to say a real goodbye (I was a little grumpy and distracted that morning) and then we both headed off in different directions on I-20. Who knew that hours later I would feel so terrible?

Sometime in the afternoon I started seeing a weird effect through my right eye. I think it’s happened in a mild form before. At first it was just a little dot, in the middle of my field of vision such that I had trouble reading. But then it got bigger and bigger until it was like I was trying to look through a swirling mass of water.

After awhile it went away, replaced by the worst headache I’ve ever had. I guess it was a migraine. I tried the only pain medicine we had left in the first aid kit at work, which was non-aspirin. It did nothing. I was to the point of tears when I told my boss how I was feeling, and she had Elgin drive me home in the Cruiser.

I took my medicine and a Motrin and went straight to bed. This was about 6:30 pm. I didn’t wake up until a little after 4 this morning.

The headache’s gone. I ate some cottage cheese and surfed the web and read webcomics. I think I will go back to sleep for a couple hours, then call work so someone can come pick me up.