Blarg (TMI)

It’s one of those days. Not quite awake. Didn’t sleep enough. Lots to do.

I’m also on a period that has lasted since Saturday, and seems to be getting stronger. I’m not sure when the last one was (may have been January), but I’m still not on hormones. I want to think of this as a good sign, but I also don’t want to get my hopes up about anything. It would probably be too much to hope for to even get back to having normally functioning ovaries, let alone a reproductive system that can foster viable eggs.

So I’ve got cramps, I’m probably bloated (though honestly, how would I be able to tell these days?), and I’m tired. Hell of a way to run a railroad :>

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Spring

I met Brooke up at Riverwalk during my lunchbreak today.

Yes, Brooke…the girl who moved to England. She’s back to finish up a few things here, like getting stuff out of her old apartment. I’m taking as many opportunities to see her as I can.

I’m glad we went to Riverwalk, because it is absolutely gorgeous there right now. All kinds of flowers and trees are in bloom. Plus, there were rowing crews out on the river, which is always neat to see.

I did take a few pictures (though regrettably none of Brooke and me together), which I’ll post eventually. Still working on the previous batch :P

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When did picture-taking become work?

So, I went down Observatory Avenue on Thursday like I’d planned and took 50 billion pictures.

It was so beautiful.

Spring is early this year: all the trees are either blooming or done blooming, and the azaleas are out. I strolled down the road and back up Butler Avenue and took pictures of everything.

So…why aren’t those pictures online?

My camera does something weird when I don’t use its automatic settings. It’ll imprint a bright pink or green dot here and there on the photo. My original camera, same model, used to do this too. It could be this particular model, or it could be what happens when digital cameras get old…regardless, the pictures I took on Thursday have those bright spots everywhere.

And so since yesterday I’ve been working on cleaning them up in Photoshop.

This is pretty boring work, and since I took so many pictures, it’s taking awhile. But I’ve also been slowed down by something else.

It was overcast on Thursday, which is good for getting details in photos but not so good for natural color. So I started messing with Saturation, and wouldn’t you know it, the colors came back! I bumped up the Contrast and the colors really popped.

And so I’ve been doing that with most of the detail shots and some of the others, saving to a separate file.

I’m glad that I am able to take better photos and then edit them to look the way I want them to, but at the same time it’s kind of sad that what started out as a fun hobby, one that only required me to point and shoot and upload and caption, has become somewhat laborious.

Then again, I wouldn’t be doing the edits if I didn’t want to, would I?

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Kanon

So, it’s over.

On the whole, I enjoyed the series. It was much more entertaining with an engaging lead character (imagine that). The female characters got less annoying as time progressed, too–many of them actually turned out to be interesting!

I’m not sure what I think of the ending. In some ways it was way too happy, but in another way it wasn’t quite perfect, so it almost cancels it out. But there’s also kind of a contradiction of logic concerning Mai and Ayu that has me scratching my head. After all, Mai is the one with miraculous healing powers. But somehow, all the happy endings manage to occur without her needing to use them. No…instead, it’s the power of the wish of the one inside a dream.

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah.

But I guess it was a decent enough way to reconcile all the heroines’ stories while finishing off with Ayu as Yuuichi’s love interest. She has to be the most important one, of course.

(Still not sure why Mai didn’t just turn around and heal Ayu. She pointed Yuuichi in the right direction, and he was able to bring her out of the coma, but Ayu still ended up wheelchair-bound. I suppose this was to make it mesh with the video game, but it doesn’t really make sense.)

It seemed to end really fast, though not quite as fast as Yakitate!! Japan did. I guess it just seems weird for shows that string out storylines for awhile to suddenly pack a bunch of information into one episode.

I did like the Sawatari Makoto thing towards the end. It made you wonder. Was she reincarnated as a fox in the past? Or was the fox reincarnated in the past? Kinda neat, even if neither are true and it was just Yuuichi’s recollections of the original Sawatari Makoto that shaped how the fox-girl turned out.

In all, I’m glad I stuck with the series. I really enjoyed Yuuichi’s character. And I’m glad to finally know where the whole “sad girls in snow” thing came from ;>

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SO angry

I hate having to deal with short-sighted, pigheaded, small-minded know-it-alls.

Arrogance is actually something I find very attractive, but only if it’s backed up with actual intelligence and knowledge and thought.

People who demean other people and ignore their ideas simply because they don’t mesh with what’s already being done are slime, and I can’t stand to watch them, let alone pretend to like them.

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Lies

Okay, I’ll admit it: I am a huge Violent Acres fan.

There. It’s all out in the open now.

I’ve wanted to feature most, if not all, of her posts, but up until now I haven’t even featured one. I’m not sure why, really. Maybe I didn’t feel like getting into the debates that would undoubtedly arise. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood to explain why I like her blog. Maybe I was just wussing out for no apparent reason.

The first post of hers that I really, really wanted to share and discuss was the abortion one, which really threw me. In the end, I can’t say that I wholeheartedly agree with her–last time I checked, humans couldn’t predict the future, despite what some celebrities say, and so how often would a case arise where you know something terrible will happen to a child? But I don’t work in social services. Maybe that sort of time comes more than I want to believe.

At any rate, V makes me think, and that’s why I read her.

Today she gets into politics, and her laying bare of the hypocrisies within the various groups who lobby in Washington is so near to the frustrations I feel when I try to make political decisions that finally I was moved to write. Maybe I’m still being a wuss–presenting V’s opinions when I should just present my own. But she just says it so well:

The Democrats want me to believe that anyone who doesn’t support government sponsored programs that promote a victim mentality (such as welfare and social security) is a cruel, intolerant, selfish asshole. The Democrats want me to pay minorities for past atrocities (Through affirmative action, etc) committed against their ancestors based completely on the color of my skin. If I argue or point out the fact that my ancestors did not even live in America when slavery was rampant, they call me a racist. Should I be against gay marriage but completely supportive of homosexual civil unions, I am a homophobe. The Democrats want me to believe that supporting speech that is hateful strictly based on a person’s constitutional rights is akin to agreeing with the person being the jerk.

I am starting to wonder if ‘Intolerance’ is the Democrat’s big lie. It seems to me that they use that word as a weapon to demoralize people and create social stigma around any idea that is contrary to their own. Excuse me if that doesn’t seem very tolerant to me.

The Republicans want me to believe that anyone who is an Atheist possesses no morals and will someday commit a crime. They tell me that I only resent being spied on because I have something to hide. If I support abortion because I believe it is more merciful to end a life than to bring it into the world unwanted and abused, they accuse me of being a heartless murderer. If I say it is better for a child to be raised by a gay couple as opposed to being completely abandoned, the Republicans say I lack family values. If I insist that school should be a place for education and not religious training, it is obvious to them that I don’t give a shit about the children.

Perhaps ‘Family Values’ is the Republican’s big lie. That phrase is being used to shame the opposition into supporting religious agendas in a country that prides itself on religious freedom. Just because I am not a Christian does not mean that I do not see the value in a strong family unit, nor does it make me a criminal.

The Feminists tell me that men and women who complete the same job do not make equal pay. If true, I agree that is unfair. However, when I make note of the fact that men do not get equal rights in family court, I notice that the feminists are suspiciously quiet.

Is Feminism about equality or superiority? Do they even know anymore?

Some scientists say global warming is a very real phenomenon. They say that unless we act now, there will be tragic consequences for the future. Other scientists say that the Earth has gone through varying climate changes for billions of years. They note the tropical climate back when dinosaurs walked the planet and the ice age that soon followed.

Who shall I believe when both groups hold their hands out for more grant money?

Her post is actually about how everyone lies, how lying is accepted, encouraged, ignored, and forgiven in this country, and how that makes it pretty damn hard to raise a child not to lie. She makes some good points there. But this little bit about political groups was what really spoke to me.

Sometimes, when I get to thinking about all the things that don’t seem to work in our political system, I want to just give up and move to another country.

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Collaborative fiction

You know that collaborative writing website I wanted to make? Well, I should have known that if I waited long enough, someone else would do it.

Ficlets isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it covers many of the bases. People can not only continue a story or write a prequel to a story, but they can also comment on individual story pieces. Ficlets also does me one better: there can be numerous prequels and sequels to any story anywhere. Multiple “canons”. If you don’t like one sequel, you can write another. And the navigation is really simple–once you’ve grokked it you can follow a story thread easily either way.

If you’re wanting to write a story with a select group of friends, this probably isn’t the solution for you. But if you want to get feedback and inspiration on your writing, Ficlets looks like a great place to play.

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I need to stop having such gruesome dreams

Just before getting up this morning, I dreamed that Sean had me order him a comic book in which all superheroes from all worlds and dimensions, both DC and Marvel, came together in a climactic battle against a brilliant villain who turned out to be a famous science fiction writer, and each died violently. I didn’t want to read it, but of course somehow I ended up doing so. Except when I did, it played out like a TV show rather than a comic.

I remember Wonder Woman was crushed in the hands of a giant, a Clark Kent from another dimension who’d taken another superhero name and costume was tricked into drowning himself, and an unknown superhero was caught in a wire that twisted around him and sawed him in two.

When my snooze alarm went off, I was glad to force myself awake to escape the deaths.

Something similar happened the other day when I slept in, except the dream I had then was far more vivid and disturbing. A crazed man with a baby strapped to his stomach–was the baby alive?–was hijacking a bus, and anytime people responded in ways he didn’t like, he’d freak out and wave a huge knife around and pull bloody body parts from children he’d dismembered out of a big burlap sack.

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I’ve made my decision

Today I finally told everyone involved what I had chosen. I can’t get into details here because my decision was of a professional nature, but suffice it to say that I am happy where I am, I feel an ownership of what I do, and I am lucky that others appreciate me and fought to get me what I needed.

Before announcing my decision, I felt calm, and afterwards, I spent the rest of the day in a sort of hazy euphoria. There is no doubt in my mind that my decision was the right one, and I am excited about what the future will bring.

If you want details, feel free to ask privately :)

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Went for a brief walk

And it was lovely. Things are starting to bloom. I’ll have pictures to post tonight.

We have a vine here that boasts beautiful purple flowers with a star/pentagon shape in the center. I brought one such flower and a pine cone in to my office. Not sure how long the flower will last, but for today at least I have a little bit of nature here to remind me that spring is here.

(Now, if only my office wasn’t sweltering…)

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Crazy drunk "let me just drive through the mall" guy

Because this is the biggest story in Augusta. Screw T-Mobile, I’m all about ramming an SUV through the second floor of Augusta Mall!

He looks pleasant, doesn’t he?

What’s scary about this is how deftly he maneuvers through the mall, never slowing down, and somehow managing not to careen over the side and fall to the first level.

Miklos says this story was on CNN, and I also heard that Inside Edition came out to film something. (You know your story’s worth something when it’s on Inside Edition! ;P)

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Time to die

Well. All right then.

Not sure why they picked Big Bird for their scapegoat. These days, it seems like Elmo is Sesame Street. When’s the last time they made a Big Bird movie?

Regardless, it’s nice of MSN to suggest the death of a children’s television character, isn’t it?

Here’s the article. It’s by Brockenbrough!

(Thanks to Sean for the heads up.)

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Tired

I feel like I have severe bags under my eyes.

Earlier one of the sales guys came in to talk to me, and he stopped abruptly and said, “Are you okay?”

I’m functional. I just feel really tired.

Just now on our show we had a national story about a study that showed people who have irregular sleeping habits tend to eat more; their metabolisms are disrupted. I don’t think my sleeping habits are irregular, though…I think I’ve just been sleeping too much lately. I’ll wake up, and instead of getting up I’ll go back to sleep, and when my alarm goes off I won’t feel at all like getting up. Maybe I’d feel better if I just got up when I woke up the first time.

Then again, it’s not like I’ve felt alert when waking up that first time.

Maybe it’s what I’ve been eating (lots of fast food). Or maybe it’s that Big Decision I still have to make–it’s looming ever nearer. Maybe it’s a combination.

Whatever it is, all I know is I’ve been feeling like crap for most of the day, for most of the week :>

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Raoul

Last night, as I put the Yaris in park and removed the key from the ignition, the interior lights came on automatically, as usual.

“Thank you, Raoul,” I said thoughtlessly.

Raoul has been a standard butler name of mine for some time now. It’s the name I gave my IV pole back in the hospital.

For a moment I pondered naming my Yaris Raoul, but…nah.

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