Heather Meadows – Page 94 – p i x e l s c r i b b l e s

Dreams

I’ve had a few dreams lately that I haven’t written about for whatever reason. One of them involved my cousin dying, so maybe I didn’t want to dwell on it. I remember that in the dream I blogged about it, which annoyed me when I woke up.

Last night I dreamed I was at Cumberland Falls. Connor and Logan were standing at the edge of the falls playing in the water, and I was taking pictures. I had just discovered that my cell phone did have a camera after all, so I didn’t have to buy a new phone! (Ah, the power of wishful thinking.)

Jeff Laitila from Sushicam was there, too, and he was taking pictures of the falls. I remember seeing him setting up a tripod, and as I looked out on the beautiful vista I asked, “Are you going to take a panorama?” He said yes, and I asked if I should move, but he said I wasn’t in the way. That made no sense so I moved anyway.

I remember setting up a really cool shot with Connor and Logan in one corner and some awesome clouds in the other, and imagining how I would crop it to make it a wide shot, and wishing I had a camera that would shoot in RAW format so I could blow it up to a huge poster.

It was really beautiful, and I was getting angles and scenes in the dream that don’t actually exist at the real Cumberland Falls. (Also, there’s no way Connor and Logan could play at the top of the falls, obviously.)

I don’t know what I was worried about [HP7 spoilers in comments]

That was one of the best books I’ve ever read.

Self-confident men

Somehow, once I was into my 20s, I was extraordinarily able to get along with young guys. I don’t know if I can really make a blanket statement here, but I’ve had several striking experiences that have made me wonder what exactly the deal was.

I think the first time it happened was during one of my Japanese classes. There was this freshman in class who regularly sat near me–tall, lean, with curly auburn hair. He would sit slouched in his seat and grin and joke around, and, as I learned later from the guys on my Japan trip, was apparently something of a slacker. I liked him rather a lot, so much that one day I told him I wanted to adopt him.

The next time I can remember is the kid who sold me the children’s magazine. I still reread those posts and laugh. Boy, did he ever enjoy the brownie!

I had another encounter with a teenage guy in line for Order of the Phoenix. I was sitting on the ground reading the novel when a large group of teenagers formed up in line behind me. Eventually one of them, of average height with dark curly hair, sat down next to me, and occasionally he’d make comments or ask questions. I Twittered about him here. (When he pointed out the girl in question, I was like, “Whoa, she’s hot. Good luck, dude!” I’m such a good role model…)

At one point, the apparent organizer of the teens, who was very obviously a Harry Potter freak, started singing very loudly. This girl was also the guy’s best friend, as I had previously learned. She looked over and noticed that he looked extremely embarrassed, so she yelled, “I’m his best friend! The guy with the iPhone!”

He immediately dumped his iPhone into my lap.

“Hmm,” I said, picking it up. “Maybe I’ll just keep this!”

They were just fun, all three experiences.

Also, I’ve been watching Prince of Tennis lately, and I absolutely adore all the boys in that show. They’re all so unique, but yet they’re all badass, and they know it.

I think I am just attracted by guys who are self-confident, and I like interacting with them. It’s one of the things that originally drew me, and still draws me, to Sean. I don’t think the guy necessarily has to be young–I also get crushes on older men, such as John Glover (damn he’s hot). I just like men who are slick, and who know they’re slick, and who therefore don’t waste time on trivial stuff…but who do take the time for a nice verbal joust purely for the mutual enjoyment.

Oddly, I can’t think of very many middle-aged men I’m attracted to. It could be that I still think of my dad as middle-aged, so I avoid thinking of that age group entirely. Or maybe middle-aged men just don’t exude that same confidence. Maybe they’re just plowing along trying to get through the day, whereas the carefree young man has his whole life ahead of him, and the old man has seen it all and doesn’t give a flip anymore. It’s a gross generalization, but it might fit.

Or maybe middle-aged men don’t flirt because they’re married! I don’t know.

Those of you out there who are attracted to men, or who are unafraid to analyze your relationships with them, do you have any specific age groups that do it for you? If so, which ones, and why? What kinds of men do you enjoy being around…and are those types the same types that you choose as friends?

Girl Genius yay!

When Studio Foglio put their comic Girl Genius online, there was already quite a backlog from the print version. So they released the new and old concurrently; those like me who hadn’t read the comics could follow the originals day by day from the very beginning.

Though I knew about the comic for some time, it was awhile before I actually got into reading it. I think I had to wait until there was a decent archive before I could really get a feel for what it was about.

Now, of course, I’m completely hooked. It’s one of my favorite webcomics. It’s grandstanding yet epic, overblown but real. The characters are varied and rich in depth. And the main character learns to use powers she doesn’t know she has, which I think is my favorite plotline.

Today, the originals have at last caught up with the new, online-only stuff. Which means I have a lot more reading than Harry Potter this weekend :D

I’ve already dug in, and I’m really enjoying being able to read the story so quickly, rather than having to wait for each new page. It’s going to be tough when I’m through the archives…but I’ll survive ;>

In the meantime, I’m really enjoying myself. This one made me laugh out loud.

If you haven’t read Girl Genius yet, click here to start from the beginning!

Edit: This gem from the archives has always delighted me.

Edit: Fixed those links, since they changed their archiving system. Also, the “laugh out loud” link was wrong.

Gastroenteritis

So, I’m like really sick and stuff.

I always feel like I’m cheating when I take time off work when I’m sick. I really shouldn’t, especially this time, because I was told by the doctor to absolutely stay home the rest of the week. I have a highly contagious stomach virus, and I need to rest and rehydrate and take medicine that will probably make me drowsy.

But aside from the varying chills and sweats and constant diarrhea, I feel okay. That’s why I went to work yesterday (and came home after three hours when I saw how high my fever was) and also, like a dolt, went out to lunch with Wes and also went to see Order of the Phoenix again at 8 o’clock.

Spreading those germs everywhere was apparently my mission yesterday ;P

So I’m going to take this seriously. I picked up my prescriptions and some sports drinks and water at Walgreens, and I’m going to stay home and relax and watch anime and piddle around online and sleep for as long as it takes for this thing to go away.

I hope nobody I’ve been around lately caught the bug from me :( I honestly thought it was food poisoning at first, since it started while I was eating lunch, so I didn’t worry about possibly being contagious.

Fever

It’s been awhile since I’ve been seriously ill. I’ve had sluggish days which were probably the result of not enough sleep, and I’ve had some fearsome allergies, especially lately, but last night when I got home from work I discovered that for the first time in who knows how long I had a full-blown fever. I had that fever headache and that dizziness when I stood up, even.

This may be related to something I ate–I started feeling weird while I was eating lunch, which included a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cheese, raw spinach, and a plum–or it could be a total coincidence. The odd feeling was accompanied by some digestive issues that point the suspicion on the food, though.

My temperature when I got home was 100.25, but I held off on taking medicine, thinking that if it was related to the digestive issues it would probably go down on its own. This was not the case; it went up to 101.67, and I became very cold. I popped three Advil, watched some Prince of Tennis, and went to bed.

Around 4 am I woke up and could not get back to sleep. My temperature was only 99.24, but I had the feeling it was going up again, so I went ahead and took more Advil. This turned out to be prudent, as I started freezing shortly thereafter, and my temp at around 5 was 100.79.

Sean was on the phone, and my discomfort paired with his talking from the other room made it impossible for me to sleep, so I pulled on some long pants and a sweater and came out into the living room to make some tea and settle in at the computer. I chatted with Brooke and took more Advil and sipped warm, throat-soothing tea.

Eventually Sean got off the phone. “I’m sick,” I said, and he chuckled because he thought that was cute. I asked him to pick up some orange juice for me, which he did even though he was tired and needed to go to bed. He also got me some Tylenol in case the Advil wasn’t effective.

My temperature just now was 99.79. I’m not freezing anymore; I had to change back into my shorts and get rid of my socks, and I feel like I would be far more comfortable naked. I’m completely drenched in sweat.

But the orange juice was fabulous. Plus, my head feels much clearer than it has all night, so I think it’s passing.

Edit 07/07/19 6:51 am: Okay, so it’s totally not passing. I’m going to Urgent MD as soon as they open ;P

Back on the horse

I’ve decided to try the early schedule again, so I got up at around 6:15 this morning. Sean went to bed not long after that, so it looks like if I want to spend any quality time I’ll have to get up earlier. But for now, I feel at least like I’ve rested.

Yesterday I went to Outspokin’ to see about a bike rack, but as it was Sunday they were closed. My bike does fit into the back of my car, but only if I jam the handlebars in (I haven’t figured out how to remove a wheel) and I don’t like doing that, especially since it rubs some of the handlebar material off. Plus, it’s just awkward; it’s easier to lift a bike off and onto a rack than it is to turn it sideways and roll it into a car. And if I have a bike rack, it means I don’t have to put the seats down in the back, which means more people can ride along with me even if I do have my bike.

In other words, I’m hoping that getting a bike rack will make it easier for me to ride my bike, which will mean I’ll ride it more.

My mom and I were talking on the phone the other day about how exhausted I am all the time, and she said I needed to go biking and walking a lot like I used to, because there was one time that I visited when no one could keep up with me. I’m pretty sure that was this visit, when I brought my bike to Kentucky. And I remember…I felt good back then.

So this week I’m going to try getting up early, which means I’ll have time to work out and run errands and also to pack a lunch and workout clothes for my lunch break, so conceivably I can save money while I’m getting back in shape.

I’ve tried this before, this getting-into-a-routine-so-I-can-lose-weight thing. But I’m feeling somewhat heartened by the fact that I was, at one time, in pretty good shape. I don’t think there’s any reason why I can’t be that way again. My problem is just a combination of laziness and an awkward schedule, which I can work through.

I really do love being awake in the morning. I feel like I have all this extra time.

Of course, I don’t anymore…I’ve spent it all writing this post, reading old posts, and chatting :D So I better get in the shower!

Request to acquaintances of my best friend Brooke

Lay off, a’ight?

I don’t know who it is who decided that pressuring newlyweds into having babies right now you’re not getting any younger where are the babies oh they’re so cute don’t you want children I can’t wait to babysit for you was a good idea, but it is not. Have you ever heard of letting people enjoy their marriage first? Especially Brooke and David, who didn’t have the luxury of living anywhere near each other while they were dating?

I never thought anything good could come out of being most likely infertile, but I guess one good thing has been that no one really pesters me about when I’m going to get preggers. Every now and then someone will ask, but the most annoying thing I have to deal with is, “What about adoption? Adoption is so great.” Most people understand that adoption is a choice, and don’t really press.

But having kids the natural way is also a choice, and it seems like people don’t get that!

So all of you who keep mentioning babies to Brooke: shut up. Just let her breathe. Let her adjust to living life 1) married; 2) in an entirely new country; 3) far away from her friends and everything she’s ever known. Do you really think she needs to add kids to the pot? Can you demand with a clear conscience that children be brought into an already stressful situation before the parents are ready?

I know you love kids and all, but try thinking about other people’s needs, mmkay?

HPatOotP

Originally posted on the AMRN GenDis, here is my reaction to the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie, written right when I got home from the midnight premiere:

Live it.

Love it.

There are, of course, the usual deviations from the original that people across the internet are no doubt already complaining about. But the story was brilliantly told, the scenes that were removed or changed made sense, the casting was superb, and the new music guy is outstanding.

If I have any quibbles, they’re with the very beginning, which didn’t have enough Harry-in-a-bad-mood (I was honestly looking forward to watching him mope around in the flower garden); the Sirius scene (you know what I’m talking about) which was more…final than the book made it out to be; and the lack of a conversation about what Harry saw in Snape’s past.

Loved Dumbledore. And Tonks. And Luna. And Snape, of course.

It’s all over next week ;_;

Wasting my 3000th post

Last night, I dreamed that spiders were mutating into much larger creatures and taking over human spaces. They could move freakishly fast, but they also died quickly and their corpses were everywhere. There were two characters in the dream, a detective-ish guy and a beautiful female journalist who both seemed to have stepped out of a black and white movie, and they were trying to figure out how to reclaim the world. The woman was apparently in trouble for doing a story about the spiders. The man started discussing the economic impact of spiders forcing people out of their homes and workplaces.

“Migration was pretty stable,” he said, “until the teapot went into mass production in the 1930’s.” And then I visualized a line of giant, colorful teapots that stretched across the horizon, kicking up dust as they advanced.

“The Dust Bowl,” I said knowingly.

As the two tried to figure out what to do about the spiders and their own issues, they of course fell in love. At some point Brooke was there, and we were both trying to take photos of a girl posing for some reason, and I was complaining that I needed a camera with a faster shutter.

Meanwhile, I was so distraught over what in the world to do about the spider problem that I started a blog post about it, with the title you see above.

Obviously I haven’t been blogging in a few days, and now you know why–it’s number 3000, and I wanted it to be awesome.

This has happened before, where I haven’t posted because I wanted to write something “important”, and each time I wound up unhappy because I wasn’t posting. You know what? I like spouting my drivel. I wish I didn’t care that I will never have a huge audience, but despite my desire for fame and glory I’m unwilling to stop doing what I’m doing…which is chronicling my life in a way that is fun for me.

So here, internet: here’s a 3000th post typical of Heather Aubrey Meadows, with a dream and some indulgent self-analysis.

3000 posts is a big milestone. This blog has been around for awhile. It’s obviously not the oldest blog in existence, but I am proud that I’ve kept it up. So many other blogs die out, with their authors either disappearing or starting a brand new blog, essentially denying everything they’ve previously written. I’m happy to have left my 3000 posts right where they are, on the same server, my faults and foibles and naive opinions of the past (and present!) archived forever for all to see, for so many years. And I intend to keep it up. I’m the main character of my life, after all. This is character development!

So, sorry to everyone who I told about this post and how I wanted it to be awesome. It is what it is: an affirmation of what has come before, and not a digression.

Visiting

I don’t really want to leave. It seems like all the cool stuff is about to happen. The Jessamine County Fair starts on Monday, and tonight Mom, Faye, Manda, and Connor and Logan are going up to join Dad at the farm. They’re going to spend the night there and hopefully get the kitchen painted and more things ready for Ben and Manda to move there. The next time I visit, I’ll have to visit Ben and Manda separately…I’ll probably go to Mt. Sterling first and spend a night and then head to Nicholasville.

Everything’s changing. (Whine: Everything’s changing without me!)

But we did have fun. Connor and Logan spent the night with me and Mom last night, and we played in the yard and watched a short movie and recorded movies of each other, and this morning I took them back home so they could go swimming in their little 12 foot pool and then we all played Mario Kart and Mario Party 2.

I spent a fun evening with the band downstairs, too…I hung out while they worked on recording new vocals, and then we listened to music, and the night ended with a burger cookout at 4:30 am.

And I loved spending time with Mom. My first full day here, we went on errands to the bank and the accountant and then got matching cups at the Dish Barn and ate at Nicholasville’s new Zaxby’s. (I swear, Kentucky is importing all the cool stuff from Georgia, so I don’t see why we can’t move here. All we need is a Wife Saver, with a more politically correct name.)

And last night I watched some Smallville with Mom, which was cool too.

So I wish I wasn’t going, but I did have a good time, and I think I’m hopefully mentally recharged enough to get back to my routine…tomorrow. (Ugh!)

Logan says:

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A ringing endorsement

Brooke (11:35:36 AM): NOTHING COMPARES
Brooke (11:35:38 AM): TO YOU
Brooke (11:35:40 AM): r curry
Me (11:35:41 AM): LOL

I love being awake in the morning

It’s such a different feeling getting up at 6:30 rather than 8 or 9:30. Somehow the day seems so much longer, seems to have so much more potential. I think it puts me in better spirits.

I went to bed last night somewhere around 9:30. What woke me up this morning was not my alarm, which was set for 6:30, but a text message from my mom at 6:20 telling me her new phone number. I didn’t know Mom was generally up at that time :>

Regardless, I got plenty of sleep, so I was able to get right up, get packed, get my shower, and spend some time with Sean, and I’m still ahead of my 8 o’clock target departure time. I should get to Kentucky in plenty of time for the cookout at my parents’ house :)

I’m better prepared for the drive this time, too: I have a long-sleeve shirt to wear in the car and a tank top under it for when I’m out of the car, so I can foil the evil UV rays that have already left what can only be called a tan line on my left arm. (I guess I do tan, after all.) It’s a trucker’s tan, but it deepened when I went to the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens the other day, to see everything in bloom for the first time, and to see the grounds where Sean and I got married one last time before they closed. (Pictures are here. The zen hoop sure looks different with plant life on it…)

I don’t know if I feel so good today because I’m up in the morning, because I got a lot of sleep, because I’m off work for the rest of the week, or because I’m heading home to see my family. It’s probably a combination of all of the above.

It really does seem to make a difference for me to go to bed and get up at geezer hours, though. There’s something about the morning sun that isn’t the same as noon approaches, and isn’t the same as the setting sun, either. When I tried getting up early that one time to go to work, I felt really good all day, though tired towards the end of my workday. But right now, I feel optimistic about my ability to work that out.

Ah, mornings are awesome.

Okay, time to pack up the laptop and hit the road. I’ll try to keep everyone Twittered…but at the least, expect some Fourth of July pics soon.

Rockin’ Girl Bloggers

Brooke has, for some unknown reason, named me a Rockin’ Girl Blogger.

As I draw close to my 3000th post and wonder what exactly it is I’m doing here, it makes me feel good that someone out there has a use for it all.

The thing to do here, as I understand it, is to pay it forward and name five Rocking Girl Bloggers of my own. Brooke also didn’t do any repeats, meaning I shouldn’t use her or anyone on her list.

So, with those guidelines in place, here are five girl bloggers I think are awesome.

V, of Violent Acres: I am consistently impressed and intrigued by this woman. She has no problem telling it exactly how it is, and her essays are often a much-needed jolt of common sense in this crazy “how can I be a victim today?” world. There are things she’s said that I disagree with, and there are times that I wonder if she’s really okay or not, but ultimately I find her posts refreshing and enlightening, sometimes touching and sometimes funny. She’s brutally honest about some things that you need to be anonymous to be brutally honest about, and I can respect that. And she’s smart, and she’s taking care of herself instead of expecting someone else to do it. That last is one of the hardest things in life; despite my own independent spirit, I struggle with it daily.

Merujo, of Church of the Big Sky: One of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting online, and certainly one of the best writers, Merujo inspires me with her fierce refusal to let life trample all over her. It knocks her down, repeatedly, especially lately, but what does she do? She gets right back up, usually with a snarky comment or two. But I was her fan before her current predicament–I like her style, I like her outlook on life, I like that she is so nonchalant about all the amazing things she does. Confident but never proud, Merujo is a model that any woman would be wise to aspire to.

Marie Mutsuki Mockett: Marie is a professional writer who blogs at her own space and on Japundit, which is where we met. I love her because she thinks like me, like an anthropologist. She’s aware that there are often numerous reasons for why things are the way they are, and she’s interested in exploring them all. Her specific interest in Japan, due to being part Japanese and growing up visiting Japan frequently, makes her writing extremely relevant to me, but anyone can write about Japan. Writing about it thoughtfully and objectively while adding personal perceptions and emotions is why I keep going back to Marie’s blog. She takes in as many resources as she can, she evaluates the facts fairly, but she also explores what it all means, both to who she is and to society. It’s that sort of critical analysis paired with emotional insight that draws me to a writer.

Sunshine, of Days of My Life: A teenager living in Mosul, Iraq, Sunshine has to fight to enjoy the things most of us in the US take for granted. She can’t go into her bedroom now because it has large windows that face the street. When school starts again, she will be in danger of terrorist attacks–or friendly fire from coalition soldiers!–en route to her classroom building. She can’t go anywhere or do anything and is essentially a prisoner in her own home, studying as best she can, reading ravenously, making handicrafts, and taking care of her younger siblings. But this is a girl who knows that if she gives in to her fear and depression, then she has already lost. This is a girl who steps out into her war-torn world with a smile on her face. Read this post for an example of what Sunshine lives through and how she has decided to live through it. If Sunshine is Iraq’s future, then despite the helplessness and despair I feel with every news story about the war, I can still have hope. She’s not just the pillar of support for her family…she’s supporting her entire country, her entire world.

Mama, of Emotions: Where Sunshine tries to keep positive on her blog, her mother offers full-on, visceral reactions–which is probably why she doesn’t post very often. There are no punches pulled at Emotions. This is a young mother who is hurting. Her country is a mess, her children can’t go to school without being in danger of being shot or blown up, she sometimes can’t get to her place of work as a dentist, and when she can she doesn’t have the proper equipment. She has so little control over her situation. This is a true victim; this is a person who can’t simply pull herself up by the bootstraps. And she tells us so. Look at what’s happening, she says. Feel my pain. Something needs to be done. Her message is the message that people need to hear–without spin, without remorse. Because despite it all, she is determined to live. And she deserves to live free of fear.

This Rockin’ Girl Blogger thing is everywhere. Just tracing back through my nomination at Brooke’s blog to her nomination and the nomination of the person who nominated her, I’ve found fifty gazillion girl blogs. I’m having trouble determining where it all started, but regardless, it seems like a really good way to expand your reading material, if you should have a need for that. *eyes her ever-expanding sidebar*

The wall

I feel like I run up against a brick wall every time I try to pursue my goals. And if it keeps happening, I’m the one who’s going to shatter. But I chose to be here, and I chose to go in the direction of the wall. I can’t go any other way.

I need some other way of dealing with the wall. I can’t go through it, I can’t go around it, and I can’t go over it. So what the hell am I supposed to do? Am I just going to have to stay behind it forever?