life – Page 21 – p i x e l s c r i b b l e s

Hospital observation

In the hospital again! (And looking great, I might add.)

So, yesterday at work something odd and scary happened to me.

I was down in the studio with the chief engineer, working on graphics for one of the weather computers. I had gotten a bit flustered about a problem and was trying to make sure it got resolved before I went back to my desk. There were a few people in the weather center and all the chairs were taken; the chief engineer was crouching and I was standing up.

I got tired of standing so I knelt on the floor in seiza, the formal sitting position where you fold your legs under yourself–you’ve probably seen it in anime or martial arts. Your legs can easily go to sleep in this position. I wasn’t thinking about the poor circulation it would afford me and how that might not be so great since I’m on diuretics; I was just pleased that I could still sit that way.

At some point the weather guys were talking to the engineer. They were all standing up and talking over my head and I was sort of listening to them. All of a sudden, I felt myself falling forward. Then I felt myself catch myself. It was kind of like how you start to fall asleep and then jerk awake suddenly, except I was lucid the entire time. I could still hear everyone talking as blurriness filled my vision until I couldn’t see. I’ve had that sort of thing happen before, a lot actually, since I started heart medication, but it usually went away in a second or two. This time it lasted as long as it took me to finally wrest control of my muscles and stand up, a surreal passage of seconds during which I felt myself jerk backwards over and over uncontrollably.

I don’t know how severe it was or how long it actually lasted, but I didn’t fall down and no one even noticed. Their conversation continued as I was finally able to reach out and stabilize myself against the desk to pull myself to my feet.

“I just had some sort of seizure,” I said, for lack of a better explanation, “so I’m going to go call my doctor.” Everyone called after me in surprise as I strode out of the weather center and back up the stairs. I continued to be blase about it until I had gotten to my desk, made the call, and gotten the machine. As I described the problem my voice started shaking and then it was a huge struggle not to cry.

Once I was done leaving the message for my heart doctor I tried to go back to working, but I couldn’t concentrate and I was starting to feel freaked out. One of the directors came in to make graphics for her show, and she started chit-chatting with me, and I couldn’t do much but babble in response. Finally I said, “I’m not really coherent right now because I just had a seizure or something.”

“Are you okay?!” She started asking questions and I felt overwhelmed so I finally just said “I don’t know,” and she ran out of the room and got my boss.

My boss came in and I tried to compose myself and call my GP, since the cardiologist hadn’t called back yet. I got a machine there too and hung up.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” my boss asked. The director had asked that too. I didn’t know if I needed to or not but I was scared.

“I guess so,” I said. My boss practically sprang out of the room and found someone to drive me over to the ER.

I wasn’t feeling any spasms or having any vision issues, just the normal slight dizziness upon beginning to walk that I have grown accustomed in recent weeks to experiencing, so I walked out to the car with the promotions assistant and she drove me to the hospital and stayed with me in the ER for as long as she could before she had to go pick up her daughter from day care. I explained my symptoms to a nurse, waited awhile, got registered, and then waited even longer.

I’m pretty sure it was 7 o’clock before they finally called me back. The episode happened at 3:20 and I’d arrived at the ER at 4. By then I was feeling all right and I had actually just asked the nurse if I could leave.

I was put in a room and had to wait some more. Then I explained my situation to a doctor and he ordered labs and urine and an EKG. These various things occurred at various times. I saw another doctor who pointed out that the way I was sitting probably set it all off. A nurse put in an IV and took me to a different room with a stretcher.

Then that nurse was taken off my case and a different nurse was assigned. He let me know that we were waiting for someone from upstairs to evaluate me and decide if I needed to stay. Another doctor came close to midnight to tell me I would be admitted overnight, given fluids, and observed. That doctor brought me something to eat; I hadn’t eaten or drank anything since around 2 o’clock when I had Wendy’s with Fichtel. My hospital fare was a diabetic sandwich lunch with sun chips and an apple, and it was delicious.

I waited a long time to be put in a room. There was no TV in the little ER room, so once I had eaten my dinner and taken some pictures I had nothing to do. My cell phone had no reception. I laid on the stretcher and tried to sleep, but the ER noises made it difficult.

At one point I was taken to the ER Observation area to be put in a room there, but the nurses said they’d been told I wasn’t to go there, so I ended up back in the ER room. It wasn’t until 5:30 that I was finally placed in a room upstairs.

Much to my chagrin, the people on the other side of the curtain from me were snoring in the loudest, grossest way possible.

Also much to my chagrin, nurses kept coming in to take vitals and check things and have me sign papers and set up fluids and set up a loaner CPAP. I was able to sleep until 7:30, when a nurse came in for vitals again, and then I took the CPAP off and resigned myself to staying awake.

The CPAP had blocked a lot of the disgusting snoring noise, but now I had nothing to protect me. I tried my television which helped some. Eventually my neighbors were awakened and I was relieved.

Breakfast was not good. It was so not good that I didn’t bother taking a picture. Fake eggs and tasteless grits. However, there was an orange muffin that was actually really yummy, and it was all served with orange juice and milk, which softened the blow.

Two different doctors came around one at a time after breakfast to hear my complaints and give me their opinions. Finally, right when I was starting to eat lunch, the whole cadre came in. They all agreed that I was reacting strongly to my heart medicines and I needed to cut back on the diuretics, which had dehydrated me to the point of renal failure. The fluids they’d been giving me all night combined with stopping the diuretics temporarily had brought my lab numbers back to acceptable levels, so I just needed to talk to my cardiologist about changing my doses.

After they were gone I ate lunch, which was even worse than breakfast.

I remember when I was hospitalized for leukemia, I couldn’t stand the smell of those plastic containers, and the orderlies had to remove the lid out in the chamber beyond my room so I wouldn’t smell it and throw up. At least it wasn’t that bad.

Sometimes I think back on my time at the Markey Cancer Center with nostalgia. I think that it was nice to be taken care of, to have my diet planned out, and to sit around all day goofing off. This experience reminded me of the reality: my life was dull and depressing and I lived solely for those fleeting blocks of time when I was allowed to go home, to see something different, to walk outside. Those moments were bookended by weeks of hospital stays. No, nostalgia, I do not want that life again.

After lunch I fell asleep watching TV. One of the doctors, a cute guy who was pretty flirty, came in and asked, “So, want to stay a few more days?” I fortunately knew he was joking, and responded, “No, I think I’ll pass.” Then he said I would be able to leave in about an hour, which was wonderful news. We shook hands for about the fourth time (and joked about that too) and then he said, “I’ll let you go back to sleep. Enjoy your nap,” but of course I was too excited about leaving to sleep, so instead I started getting my things together, tidying up after myself, and getting dressed.

Finally a nurse had me sign discharge papers and I was free to go. I didn’t bother waiting for Sean to come up to the room; I grabbed my stuff and strode right out of that room, down the hall, and into an elevator.

There was no dizziness and no blurry vision as I headed outside to wait for Sean to arrive. I tilted my head back and gazed at the blue sky above and felt no vertigo. I felt normal. It was nice.

The Book Quiz

Okay, this is frightening.

You’re Les Miserables!
by Victor Hugo
One of the best known people in your community, you have become something of a phenomenon. People have sung about you, danced in your honor, created all manner of art in your name. And yet your story is one of failure and despair, with a few brief exceptions. A hopeless romantic, you’ll never stop hoping that more good will come from your failings than is ever possible. Beware detectives and prison guards bearing vendettas.
Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

Via Brooke.

Canal photos

I finally got my pictures from the Augusta Canal uploaded, tagged, and captioned.

This is the end of a section of stair rail. Weird, but it kind of fits with the outdoor, roughing it theme of the area.

A new trail…at least to me. So of course I had to explore it!

The end of the new trail (it was pretty short, but I loved the view).

Gazing at the bridge and headgates from behind, I noticed a crazy photographer standing on the thin concrete wall that separates man from the Savannah.

This is the closest shot I got of him.

Here’s another wall-percher. For some reason she reminds me of Tamara. I think it’s the hair, though it could also be the attitude. “I’m so cool, I think nothing of sitting barefoot on stone in 60 degree weather, reading a book!”

Ah yes, one of my all-time favorite subjects. Damn, I thought I had it so the reflection at the top was out of the frame.

Sean has a weird name for these, which I can’t remember, and I can’t remember the proper name for them either ;P

Well, poo.

One of many “ooh aren’t silhouetted bare branches cool?” shots.

I started finding the power pole and line aesthetic pleasing when I went to Japan for the first time. This example is right up there.

Can you see why I love this place?

I just like the shapes in this shot, the curves and lines.

And here’s another favorite subject. Too bad it stinks…

One for the road.

As you can tell from the order of the pictures, I went down a bunch of stairs (going down isn’t a strain, it’s just going up that’s bad) and then walked across the headgates bridge. I headed up to the quarry, where I turned around, but I took the new bridge near the new fishing dock rather than going all the way back to the headgates. This gave me the opportunity to see the waterfall (and some litter), and then I decided to go through the woods to the parking lot instead of up the long gravel driveway. I think the forest trail was less of a strain than the road would have been.

I walked for about a mile, but for the first half of that I was stopping for photos a lot so I’m not sure how much I can count ;> By the end, though, I had worked up a sweat and was pretty winded. It felt great.

I need to make a photo walk a part of my weekend routine–something that happens every Saturday.

Many many many many many more photos, of varying quality, here.

Augusta Canal yay :)

Pictures are going here, if our internet connection will behave ;P

Friday night

Evidence I can be in a photo and not look totally horrible:

Guess I should wear purple more often.

That picture was taken outside Logan’s last night. It was pretty damn cold. But we had to wait a long time to get a table…Friday night, you know. Shalah, Samantha and I arrived late, so Elgin, Gene, and Mason were waiting even longer than we did. An odd thing happened, too; they were sitting at a table when we got there, but as soon as we sat down the server told us the manager said we had to leave. Apparently the server had seated the guys without regard for the waiting list, and now the table was needed for a party of 30.

So we trooped outside and sat on a freezing cold picnic table for what seemed like forever, within clear sight of the table we had just vacated, until finally we were seated on the exact opposite end of the restaurant, surrounded by tables full of raucous teenagers.

My food was good, and I was pretty much happy to be inside and chatting and eating, but Elgin swore off Logan’s forever, and Shalah didn’t seem particularly pleased either. Both of them had steak and they both said it was terrible. I had mesquite grilled salmon and mashed potatoes, and I enjoyed them just fine.

I’m beginning to think the bar is lower for me than it is for other people when it comes to restaurants. There’s a guy at work who used to go to Boll Weevil all the time, but he stopped going after one bad experience with a hostess who ignored him. Me, I continued going even after the bread stopped tasting so good and it became a gamble to have the sweet tea. (My patience seems to have paid off; the bread and tea have both been great again the last few times I’ve been.)

After we were finished eating, the others convinced me to go with them to Doubletree hotel, which is right around the corner. So we went over there and hung out in the bar for awhile. It’s a really snazzy place, quite upscale. Gene had a Jack and diet, Shalah had a pina colada, and Mason had some beer I’ve never heard of. Samantha took a sip of everyone’s drink but didn’t order anything. I don’t drink, of course, and Elgin couldn’t because he was on call. There was boxing on the TV next to our tables, and other patrons drifted in and out as we sat and talked.

Kelsey appeared at one point, and then she, Samantha, and Mason headed off to Red Lion to see a friend of a friend of a friend’s band. The rest of us decided that area was a little sketchy and went home instead.

All in all, it was a good time. I’m glad I went!

Let it shine

One of my coworkers, a guy I love dearly, recently received an award from the local branch of a regional religious group. During his acceptance speech he was talking about how he hopes to continue doing good work for the community, and he abruptly broke into song: “This Little Light”. He only sang a few bars before the whole room joined in, singing and clapping, and when the verse was over everyone cheered.

I just wanted to mention that–it was neat. I can’t imagine I would ever think of singing during a speech. (I’m not sure the people I would likely be giving a speech to would ever join in, either.)

Look at my new table OMG

I went shopping for clothes today. So obviously I came home with a table and a fake orchid ;>

It all started at Cato, where I actually did get some clothes. But when I went to Target on the recommendation of Lisa at work, I remembered why I never buy clothes at Target: the women’s section and the maternity section are essentially the same, and I don’t want to buy maternity clothes by mistake :P

But I did enjoy wheeling my cart through the furniture section, and it was there that I found my beautiful table and orchid, along with some mirrors, a shiny red tray, and a little lamp.

Okay, so I’m compulsive. But I love the way that bit of wall looks with that little table on it. So…finished. :)

Inexplicable plastic

When I arrived at work this morning I discovered an old-school farming/shepherding operation on my desk.

It’s actually not inexplicable; Mullis and Fichtel went to the dollar store last night. But it is certainly bizarre!

(I have to say, I’m rather fond of the pig.)

Not quite la vida loca, but I still have fun

In one of those chain reaction tidying up events that occur with me every so often, I started sorting the mail, then cleaning things off the dining room table, and before I knew it I was collecting the Christmas decorations and carting them off to the second bedroom. I haven’t gotten them put away, of course; they’re sitting on the bed. And the Christmas village is still on the bar table. But this is a big start!

While I was at it I got all the dishes into the dishwasher and started it. I also got my CPAP, mask, and tubing washed, and now I’m waiting for them to dry.

Today’s been pretty good, all in all. Work went well–I got some ads done, including one with animation, which was fun. I had lunch at Wendy’s with Fichtel, and we didn’t sit around blankly the whole time ;> After work I went with him and Mullis to Chick-fil-A. The conversation turned to Adam, who left awhile back to be a chief meteorologist on the west coast, and so I gave him a call right then and there. Unfortunately he had to be in a newscast in five minutes, so the conversation was short. In fact, Fichtel’s side of the conversation with him went like this:

“Hello. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye.”

Other than that, noteworthy features of our dinner conversation included the discussion of farts, burping, railing against faceless corporations and the fact that Chick-fil-A’s decor is like a motivational pamphlet, and Mullis’ fabulous impressions of coworkers.

After that, Mullis and Fichtel headed off to record some music (I’m not sure I can explain the intricacies of this hobby of theirs–I’m just glad I can remember the name “Smies Lieser”–so that’s good enough), and I headed home. Sean wanted Chinese food, so I was going to just pick some up at the drive-thru place near Food Lion, but Sean doesn’t like that place, so I went to our standard people over on Bobby Jones instead and went inside and waited. (However, I mistakenly ordered sesame chicken instead of almond chicken…:P)

I brought that home and commenced with the cleaning-up detailed above.

Since then I’ve just been watching Detective Conan, reading Mullis’ website, and trying to write this post. Sean just got home. I feel like maybe eating a bowl of cereal. I need to check and see if The Apparatus is dry. And after that…bed.

Tomorrow’s Friday! And after work a bunch of us are going to Chili’s. Rock on.

I did it!

Okay, I guess getting up at 6:30 am was an anomaly, because it certainly didn’t happen today. However, something very awesome happened instead.

I wore the CPAP all night!

I still woke up a couple times with a cough, and finally I put a cough drop in my mouth. After that I woke up one more time–at around 6 o’clock–and then passed out again until my alarm went off at 8.

The last time I woke up, I wondered if the CPAP was working properly, because I didn’t feel overwhelmed at all by the air. I even checked all the tubing to make sure. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong. I think I had just finally adjusted to how it felt over the course of the evening.

Rock on!

I’m not going to assume I’ll be this successful tonight, because that would just be setting myself up for disappointment, but I do consider this a major step towards fully adjusting. I look forward to the nights when I wear the mask the whole time and don’t wake up at all!

Good morning!

Last night I went to bed at around 10:30 or 11. I was able to fall asleep with the CPAP on. Once I woke up with a horrible tickle in the back of my throat that made me keep coughing. I turned the humidifier back down to 2 and that seemed to help, oddly. Another time I woke up and took the mask off, then I woke up again later and put it back on. Finally I woke up a third time with my throat really dry so I took it off for the rest of the night. Since I was half-asleep most of the time, I didn’t check my clock, so I don’t know how long I actually wore the mask last night.

I started to wake up around 6, and dozed until around 6:30, when I finally got up. I just didn’t feel the need to be in bed anymore. This is remarkable because for the last week or so I have barely been able to get out of bed. Yesterday, for example, I stayed for as long as I possibly could–until 9:15, which is 15 minutes before I leave for work.

But today I didn’t want to sleep anymore, so I got up and read my webcomics and checked out a couple of blogs. Then the sun was up enough that I thought I might take a walk outside, so I did.

It was about 35 degrees out, so I put on workout pants that I thought were warm enough, a shirt, and a sweater. I did not wear my gloves, though I should have, and I don’t think I even own a hat anymore, so I went bareheaded.

As a result of being so underdressed (I’m not used to the cold anymore!), I wasn’t able to stay out long, just 15 minutes. But I felt like I could have continued, so when I got back inside I hopped on my bike, which is propped up on a resistance stand in the second bedroom, and rode for ten minutes. As I rode I thought about ways I could get a TV into that room so I won’t be bored stiff when I’m exercising.

It wasn’t a huge workout, but it was enough to build up a sweat, and I feel pretty darn good.

I’m going to try to keep this up all week. Also, since I’m taking my lunch today, I might see about a brief walk during my break as well.

For now, breakfast, then shower, then lunch-packing. Whee!

7 Random Things

I’ve been tagged by Kayo of Osaka Life! It’s the 7 Random Things one. As usual, I refuse to call this a “meme“.

I did one called 8 Random Things once, but it looks like I didn’t tag anyone when I was done babbling about myself. I’ll try not to make that mistake this time ;>

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

So, here are seven random and/or weird facts about me.

1. I like to put my hair in my mouth. I don’t chew it or suck on it, I just hold it between my lips and then blow it out (and continue twirling it with my fingers). I didn’t realize it until I searched my archives for the word “twirl”, but I have mentioned this before ;P

2. I used to take my wedding rings off when I was at home due to my fingers getting uncomfortable, but that hasn’t been the case for quite some time now. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I took them off other than right before my shower or going to bed. I guess I got used to them!

3. I call my car Gnat, Bug, and Egg. I have also referred to it as The Pimpmobile, but I doubt anyone would agree that that is fitting. My old car had a name, but I could never remember it, and I still can’t! (My bicycle, however, is named Yuuri, aka The Maou.)

4. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

5. I cemented my role as “one of the guys” at work the other day, but I’m not going to tell you how.

6. When I was a kid, I liked to fling a pencil down eraser first onto a flat surface and then catch it on its way back up. While doing this one time, I stabbed the pencil into the middle of my hand. I know, it’s unbelievable that that could happen, right? :>

7. Also when I was a kid, I tried to get out of learning things that would have been easy for me to learn because I was lazy. Example: tying my shoes. “Why can’t I just have all-Velcro shoes?” I would protest.

Okay, it’s taggin’ time.

Brooke, Wes, Jered, Chuck, Heather, Miklos, aaaaaaand…okay, I’m going to do it, I’m going to commit blog suicide and tag V. At best, she’ll ignore me, and at worst, she’ll make fun of me publicly.

Adjustments

I finally got my CPAP on Thursday. I’d been feeling bad all week and it was the worst that day; I felt dull and tired and dizzy. I was eager to get going with the CPAP so I could start feeling better again, like everyone said would happen. So that night I set it up on my nightstand and used it for the first time.

It was not a very successful first night. Every time I finally started to drop off into sleep, my mouth filled with air…so I woke up immediately. It got very frustrating, and after about 45 minutes of that I gave up on the CPAP, turned it off and took off the mask.

The next day at work, though, I felt great. I had energy like you wouldn’t believe and I was dancing around and singing to people. I don’t know if it was psychosomatic or if 45 minutes of getting lots of air while resting really made that much of a difference. (Another factor is that my doctor had me go back down on some of my heart medicine to get rid of the dizziness. That might be the main reason I felt so much better.)

I was told it could take six weeks to fully adjust to using a CPAP, so I wasn’t discouraged by the first night’s failure. In fact, the consultant at the place where I got the CPAP said I might have to start out only doing half an hour a day. I went to bed last night determined to leave it on as long as I possibly could, and to try to stop the air from filling my mouth…somehow.

I was somewhat successful in dealing with the air going into my mouth. I could kind of tell when it was going to happen, so I would just inhale a lot and then breathe it all out. I was awake when this happened, but not fully awake, which was an improvement.

This time, the problem was dryness. My CPAP came with a humidifier that is supposed to keep my nose and throat from drying out due to all the air blowing into it. I had it set to the average level, 2, but after awhile I woke up feeling awful because my mouth and throat were so dry. I kicked it up to 4 and tried once again to sleep, but the dryness never went away. I think I must have been opening my mouth while I was asleep, so that’s something else I’m going to have to put my subconscious to work on.

Listen, subconscious: no letting air fill the mouth, and no opening the mouth. Behave!

My mouth was so uncomfortable that I had to stop the CPAP for that night, stick a cough drop in my mouth, and go to sleep normally. But I was pleased to find that I’d managed to wear it for two hours this time.

One thing I’m kind of concerned about is the redness on my face when I take the mask off, and the irritation I feel on my skin. I don’t know if I’m allergic to the mask or if that’s just what happens when there’s a vacuum seal on your face. I’m hoping it’s the latter. The redness goes away after hours of not wearing the mask. Hopefully things will continue this way as long as I keep the mask cleaned daily like I’m supposed to.

The CPAP requires a lot of maintenance. I have to refill the distilled water in the humidifier daily, and wash it out weekly. I have to wash and air-dry the mask daily, and the straps that hold it to my head weekly. And there’s an air filter on the CPAP that has to be changed out every month or so–I have two of them so I can switch them out and then wash the dirty one. More little things to add to my routine, I suppose. It’s hard for me to do things on a monthly basis, but hey, if I can remember to pay the rent, I guess I can also remember to change an air filter.

I don’t remember the CPAP irritating my skin, or my mouth filling with air or drying out during my sleep study. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if it’s just that I’m more relaxed at home, so I do things I wouldn’t have done at the study, like relax my throat or let my mouth fall open. Regardless, the last two nights have been very irritating, and while dealing with the various issues I’ve thought that I don’t want to have this hassle in my life. But it’s important, and like any other irritation it has a time limit, and I don’t have to worry about it the rest of the time…so I’m going to suck it up and deal with it.

I’m pretty sure the only reason I have sleep apnea is because I’m overweight, so if I can solve that problem I may not have to do this anymore. Yet another very good reason to be healthy.

Danger, Will Robinson!

Sorry, blog

Tonight on the phone Mom was telling me her morning routine, and she said that the first website she opens is pixelscribbles.com, “which the author herself never seems to visit lately”.

Alas!

I do have some pictures I need to post, and I’m sure there are things I could be writing about…but I’ve just been sick for so long that all I tend to want to do when I’m at home is either watch DVDs or go to bed.

But don’t worry; I’m sure I won’t be able to keep from posting something new for long!